A World Worth Saving
by spikessweetgirl75
Summary: After Dawn jumps from the platform, Buffy decides to quit slaying. The world is not worth saving. Spike takes her on a road trip to show her that the world is worth saving and that slaying is something she may not be able to just quit. Formerly The Hardest Thing in The World by Spikessweetgirl
1. Dawn

**Chapter 1: Dawn**

_A/N: Most dialogue and actions in this chapter was taken from the episode The Gift_

"I sacrificed Angel to save the world. I loved him so much...but I knew. What was right. I don't have that anymore. I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world, if these are the choices, if everything's just stripped away then I don't see the point. I just wish...I wish my mom was here," Buffy turned and looked at her watcher with tears in her eyes and a sense of grim determination. She stood up from the bench and headed for the door. She then turned to Giles, hurt and resignation in her eyes. "The spirit guide told me that death was my gift. I guess that means a slayer really is just a killer after all."

Giles didn't know what to say to that. The research they had both done about slayers and where their power might have originated from...it had taken them both to places that they had both never been, yet there still wasn't an answer. But he did know one thing. Slayers were good. They were the heroes, protecting humankind from the surrounding darkness. There was no possible way that they could be killers. He didn't know what the spirit guide had meant by what it had told Buffy...but he was pretty sure that it wasn't what Buffy was assuming it meant.

"I think that you're wrong about that."

"It doesn't matter. If Dawn dies, then I'm done with it. I'm quitting."

And with that, she was gone, leaving her watcher to stare after her with his own broken heart. His slayer had reached her breaking point once again. Before it was with Angel and now it was with Dawn. He knew that the death of her sister was the one thing that would break Buffy for good. She had survived Angel's demise. Had dealt with it and had put it behind her and had moved on. But was was different with Dawn. Dawn was closer to Buffy than Angel had ever been. She was Buffy's blood. Her sister in every way. It didn't matter that she was only a creation of the monks. She was real now and she was Buffy's family. The only one closer to her than Joysce had been before her unfortunate death. Buffy had just lost her mother. She couldn't lose her sister too.

Giles closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he hoped that the scoobies plan worked. That they could distract Glory until the window to use Dawn closed, because if Dawn was bled and the dimensions were opened...there was no other course of action that he had found that would close them. Dawn was going to have to die. Whether Buffy liked it or not.

…..

Her heart was in her throat as she climbed the tower as fast as her strength would allow. She was probably going to feel it for a few weeks afterward, but that didn't matter. What mattered was reaching the top. Reaching Dawn. Someone was up there, she was certain of that because she saw Spike being thrown from the tower, foiled from saving her sister. Whoever was up there, their time was short and they had better not touch her sister.

Finally, buffy reached the top to find that indeed, Dawn wasn't alone. There was a skinny little man standing before her with a knife, looking all too pleased with himself.

"Dawn," Buffy stated, a pillar of determination as she began to stride towards her sister, determined to get to her before that man could cut her.

"Buffy," Dawn gasped, just as the man turned and gracefully threw the knife that he was holding at Buffy. Without even blinking, Buffy batted the knife away.

"Well. This should be interest...," the man's drawl turned into a scream as Buffy pushed him over the edge without even breaking her stride. She didn't even hear the wet splat on the concrete below, silencing him forever.

"Buffy it hurts..," Dawn sniffed as Buffy began to untie her.

"I got you. It's going to be okay," Buffy reassured her sobbing sister, her own heart breaking at the sight of Dawn's tears, yet she felt a sense of relief. She had gotten there in time. She had saved her sister.

"Oh God, Buffy..."

Buffy looked down in time to see that Dawn was bleeding. She hadn't been on time after all. That little man or whatever he had been had cut Dawn after all. Her eyes widened as the blood pooled down onto Dawn's foot and then dripped off into the air.

They both watched as the blood turned into a ball of energy.

Buffy finished untying Dawn and began to drag her down the platform, away from the edge, but Dawn resisted and forced Buffy to stop. Buffy looked at her with wide frightened eyes.

"Come on!" Buffy again gave Dawn's hand a tug, but the younger girl wouldn't budge.

Dawn looked at the ball of energy taking from in the sky, then she turned back to Buffy as the platform began to rumble and shake. "I can't!"

"What? We have to get down!"

Dawn shook her head, a tear dripping from her eyes. "Buffy...it's started."

Buffy watched as bolts of lightning flashed in the night sky, ripping open dimensions that contained monsters and creatures that even she had never seen before. It was a horrible sight and she knew that she had lost, but she didn't care. All she cared about was Dawn and getting her to safety, making sure that she was safe.

"I'm sorry," Dawn sobbed.

"It doesn't matter," Buffy shook her head, confused on why Dawn was apologizing. It wasn't her fault. It was Glory's for starting this mess and it was her own for being too later. "Nothing..."

Dawn didn't let her finish. She shook Buffy off and made a run for it, but Buffy grabbed her again, stopping her. "What are you doing?"

"I can end this!" Dawn yelled through her tears, her eyes pleading with Buffy to just let her go. Let her do the right thing.

What was Dawn talking about? How did she...? No...no, she couldn't even be thinking about what Buffy was thinking she was. "No!"

"I have to jump. The energy..."

"It'll kill you!"

"I know. Buffy, I know about the ritual! I have to stop it!"

"No!"

"I have to! Look at what's happening!"

Both girls watched as a dragon came flying past them, emerging from one of the opening portals in the sky.

"I don't care! I won't lose you!" Buffy gripped her sister's arms, her green eyes pleading for Dawn to stop this foolishness and just listen to her and come down from the portal, but still Dawn was resisting her.

"You have to! You have to let me go! Blood starts it, and until the blood stops flowing it'll never stop. You know that you have to let me..."

"No," Buffy shook her head, despair was clear in her eyes. On some level, she knew that Dawn was right, that there was no other way...but she just couldn't accept it. She couldn't let her sister go! She didn't care if it was the end of the world. She had given up so much. Too much. A normal life. Angel. College. Her mother...she couldn't be expected to give up her sister too...she refused...

"It has to be the blood," Dawn sobbed, the tears this time was clear in her eyes. "I love you, Buffy. You wee the best big sister that I could ever ask for and I've learned so much from you. Especially about how to be brave and how to make the big decisions. This is my time to be brave Buffy...to be just what you taught me. I have to do this...for the world...just like you would have..."

Buffy shook her head, her brain refusing to process what was happening. She tightened her grip on Dawn, refusing to release her. Hot tears poured from her eyes. At that moment, she didn't feel like the strong slayer that she was supposed to be. She felt like the scared little girl, who was about to lose everything. "Dawn, please...I'm not brave and I'm not strong. I don't care about the world...not when it means giving you up..."

"I know," Dawn's smile was sad, yet serene with the knowledge of what she had to do. I know and I'm sorry that it has to be this way...but there's no other choice Buffy. You can't save me. Not this time. Not when it means the lives of the whole world. You have to let me go..."

"Dawn, no..."

Dawn wrapped her arms around Buffy, holding her tight, knowing that her heart was breaking just as well as her own. "It's the right thing to do, Buffy. You taught me that. Remember, this is not your fault. Don't push them away. Don't push him away. He does love you. It's even in his eyes..."

"Who?" Buffy frowned, confused by Dawn's words.

"Spike. He's for real, Buffy. Let him love you. Let him take care of you. Promise me..."

"Dawn..."

There was another loud rumble and again the platform shook, this time forcing the sister's apart. Dawn took advantage of the moment. She took one last look at Buffy, mentally saying good-bye and then she was off and running as fast as she could, not giving herself time to think about what she was doing and hoping for once that she was faster than her sister. That Buffy's shock and grief would slow her down.

Reaching the edge, she looked back. Buffy was right upon her, her hand stretched out to grab her back. She was almost there, just another inch...but Dawn was too fast. Just as Buffy was about to grab her, Dawn leaped off the edge of the platform, leaving Buffy grasping for empty air.

Dawn? Dawn no!" Buffy screamed as she watched her sister dive into the portal and hang there in midair, her face a mask of pain. "Dawn!"

Buffy pushed through her shock. She didn't have time for it. She had to reach Dawn somehow...save her...because f she died...well that wasn't even allowed to be a possibility! So she pushed through her shock and the threatening grief and mad her way down the tower as fast ass he could, hoping to reach Dawn in time to catch her...to do something to stop her own personal world from ending! She was so intent on reaching the bottom, Buffy didn't even noticed the dimensions closing and the world returning to normal. All that she could think about was reaching her sister.

When she did reach the bottom, what she found drained out all feeling from her body. Dawn's lifeless body laid amongst the debris. Not too far away was Spike sobbing into his hands. Giles was there as well, the tears clear in his eyes. There was Willow and Tara crying as well and there was Xander, carrying a sobbing Anya in his arms. But all of their tears meant nothing to Buffy. The only thing that Buffy cared about was the lifeless body laying there. The shell of the girl that had once been her sister. She didn't care that Dawn hadn't been real...that the memories she had were fake. To her...in her heart...those memories were real. They knitted together a bond...a love so great that Buffy knew that she would never feel anything like it again. Her sister...Dawn...was gone and Buffy was alone. Again.

She sank down onto the stairs, hot tears running down her face, her earlier words from the training room resounding in h er ears...

"_It doesn't matter. If Dawn dies...I'm done with it. I quit..."_

She had meant every word...but at that moment, even that didn't matter. What mattered was that her sister was gone. Once again she had failed the one person that she loved more than anything.


	2. Keeping Her Word

_(A/N Thank you for the review, follows and favorites and for reading:) I hope that you keep enjoying the story:) Also some dialogue in this chapter was taken from Bargaining 1. Enjoy!)_

The house on 1630 Revillo Drive was quiet. Maybe too quiet, according to the people that frequent there. If they hadn't known any better, they would say that the house was completely empty. But it wasn't. There was at least one person still living there. Breathing, talking, going through the motions...but that was about it. Rupert Giles pinched the bridge of his nose as he came to stand in the doorway of the room that had once belonged to a 14 year old girl and watched as the grieving sister again gently caressed the barely worn cover of a diary.

It's been nearly three months since Dawn's sacrifice. The summer was nearly over and Buffy Summers had yet to go out and actually slay anything. To keep up appearances, the Scoobies had made good use of the Buffybot that Spike had had built, programing it as best they could to act like the actual slayer, so the demons and vampires would not suspect that not all was right with their nemesis. But that couldn't hold up forever. Someday, some creature will get lucky and make the startling discovery that the bot was not the real article and then things would get really bad for Sunnydale. Giles wanted to get Buffy back up and slaying before that even had a chance of happening.

But looking at the girl now, sitting on her dead sister's bed, caressing the book that contained her sister's last words, thoughts, and feelings, Giles feared that any chance of getting Buffy back on her feet and ready to slay again was a long way off. He also couldn't help but remember her words before the big battle, about quitting if Dawn died. Surely she hadn't meant it. Surely she wouldn't really abandon her sacred duty...right? But she had done it once...after she had sent Angel to hell. She had disappeared to LA, leaving her friends to deal with the Hellmouth on their own. She had quit over the death of her lover, so would it really be a surprise if she quit because of the death of her beloved sister? And Buffy had loved Dawn...she had loved her more than anything...had been closer to her than she had ever been to anyone. So really, why was it that he had such a hard time believing that his slayer had been serious about quitting...that she really was done with it now that the one person she had loved above all others was now gone from her?

Still, there was a part of him that hoped that it had all been just words in the heat of the moment...that Buffy really hadn't quit. That she was taking a time off to heal. That all it would take was a word from him and his slayer would be back on the job.

"She wrote all the way up until the end," Buffy's voice was soft...so soft that Giles almost missed what she was saying.

He sat on the edge, not wanting to disturb anything. Buffy had kept Dawn's room exactly the same as it had been when she had left it the morning that they had fled, hoping to outrun Glory. Hoping to save her sister. He winced, realizing that neither had happened and how foolish they had been to even think that running away would work.

"I'm sure that writing it all down was a great comfort to her."

"She was always writing in a diary. By time she learned how to read and write she was always writing in those stupid books. I kept one too, but I was never as diligent as her. Not a night went by that she didn't record her day. She burned them all, you know. When she found out that she was the key...she burned them all. All that's left is this one...and it's not even full enough...not by half, Giles..."

"Buffy..."

"It shouldn't matter, should it? She wasn't real. She wasn't really my sister, just some mystical energy inserted into my life by some monks...but...but she was real to me. She was real to me and those diaries were proof that she existed...that she was here...but now all I have is just this one...just a handful of pages...that's all her life had come to...," Buffy's voice cracked at the end, revealing just how broken she really was.

"No...no. That's not all her life had come to. She saved the world," Giles answered, his voice soft and full of sympathy. It broke his heart to see his slayer so...broken. This was worse than the heartache over Angel. Almost as great as the heartache over losing Joyce. This was something that Buffy may never recover from. "She saved us all..."

"Yeah. She did. She did the job that I was supposed to do...but just wasn't strong enough..."

"Buffy...no one blames you. She was your sister...I was a fool to ask what I had of you."

"No...you were right. Everyone saw it...even Dawn had. I was the only one that wouldn't...couldn't accept it. I still can't. I...I just don't understand Giles. Why did they give her to me if they were only going to take her away? What kind of world is this to ask for a sacrifice from a innocent little girl? It's just not right...none of it is..."

"No. It's not. But it's the world we live in, my dear girl. The world that we fight to save. It's harsh and cruel...but it's the only one that we've got."

Buffy sighed and got to her feet, wiping her hands against her jean clad thighs. She turned around to look at Giles with sad tired eyes. "Well maybe it's not worth saving anymore, Giles. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe it's time to just give it up."

"Again, I have to disagree. I believe that even though it is harsh and cruel, there are also good and kind things about it. Things worth saving..."

"Well good luck with that," Buffy headed for the door, signaling that the conversation was over.

"Buffy!" Giles called out, just as she was in the doorway, ready to walk out. To his relief, she stopped. She didn't turn around, but just the fact that she stopped proved that she was willing to listen to him still. Maybe there was a chance that he could reach her. Convince her to take up her duty once more, despite all the loss that she had suffered. "The Buffybot has been covering up for your absence for the last three months. We have been very...lucky so far. But that luck will run out and sooner or later the vampires and demons will find out and when that happens...it won't be good. Do you know when you will be ready to return?"

Buffy turned around to face her watcher, her green eyes tired, yet shone with a determination that he had seen many times before...times when she was about to say something that none of them was going to like.

"I have already told you Giles. Right before we went to fight Glory. If Dawn died, that was it. I quit. I wasn't just blowing smoke. I meant it. I quit. I don't know what you're going to do about Sunnydale or the issue of world save-age...but leave me out of it. I'm done."

"Buffy..."

"I'm done, Giles! End of discussion. I'm sorry if you thought that I'd change my mind and I appreciate you giving me this time to really think about it, but...nothing's changed. I'm done with saving the world. I'm done with slaying."

"I wish that you would give this more thought...we need you..."

"And I need you to understand. I can't protect a world that calls for the death of the only person I've ever completely loved. Especially after I lost mom...I just...I can't..."

"Buffy..."

"This conversation is over Giles. Don't bring it up again," Buffy's voice was like steel as she continued on her way down the stairs, leaving Giles feeling at a loss on what to do next. The gig with the Buffybot was bound to be revealed soon and when it was...Giles didn't even want to think of the consequences of a slayer less Sunnydale.

…..

Sundown found Buffy sitting on her back porch steps, her mind again lost in memories of her mother and sister. Her and her mother taking Dawn to the mall and purchasing her first diary. Dawn at Disneyland. Dawn and her mother's alliance when it came to getting Buffy to accept Ted the evil robot...the memories were never ending and they could take her over if she let them. Sitting on the porch, staring off into space was how Spike found her as he entered the back yard. That was how he always found her these past three months. After the battle was over...and Dawn was buried, Spike began showing up at the Summer's house to find Buffy on the back porch steps. Sometimes they would just sit in silence. Sometimes they would talk, usually with Buffy sharing some kind of memory. Either way, it was now a thing between them, sitting on the back porch of Buffy's house.

"Slayer," Spike greeted, not even sure what to expect.

"Spike," was Buffy's distracted reply.

"Mind if I join you, Pet?" Spike never just sit down without asking. Somehow it had just felt wrong to assume that his presence would always be tolerated.

Buffy just shrugged. "Go ahead. Don't let me stop you."

Spike took his usual place and waited. If there was a conversation to be had, the slayer would start it. He didn't have to wait long. Only ten minutes of just sitting together in silence before Buffy began talking.

"Why do you keep coming around, Spike? My company is not exactly stellar these days."

"You're better company than most," he snorted, lighting up a cigarette, ignoring the look of disgust that she threw him.

"Those things are disgusting and will kill you."

Spike chuckled. "Vampire, love. You know perfectly well that it'll take a lot more than these to do ole Spike in."

"Ok. Those things are disgusting and the second hand smoke alone will kill me."

Rolling his eyes, Spike sighed and put out the freshly lit cigarette after only one puff. "Touche. So what is on your mind tonight, pet? Besides slaying my cigarette habit?"

Buffy looked at Spike, wondering why she was even tolerating his presence. Thy weren't friends...at least she didn't think that they were. But he was the only person that she could stand to be around these days. There was no pressure from him like there was from the others. They all expected her to just get over Dawn's death and return to slaying. Spike didn't...or if he did, he kept it to himself. He didn't act as if returning to slaying was written in stone for her. Heck, he was probably the only one who hadn't thought of killing her sister to save the world. She had trusted him with other things too...

"I kind of had a fight with Giles. He wants me to return to slaying and...I don't."

Spike arched a brow. "You want to quit slaying?"

Buffy grimly nodded. Despite what people may think, this was not a decision that she took lightly. She had given it a lot of thought, even after Dawn's sacrifice she had gone back and forth on changing her mind. But quitting felt right to her...that is when she ignored the part of her that hated the idea...the part that had raged against the idea. It had been a battle, but the part of her that was just so tired of it all had won, which meant no more slay-age for her.

"Is that even possible? Isn't slaying in your blood? A part of who you are?"

"I don't know about all of that. Giles and I...after the whole Dracula ordeal began to research what being a slayer really was. Where the power came from...but all of that fell to the wayside when Glory showed up. I just know that I don't have it in me anymore. I...I've lost too much..."

Spike had to admit that the girl had that look in her eyes now. The look that all the slayers he had killed had in their eyes when they went up against him. The look that he had described to the slayer once before. But he had never heard of a slayer quitting, attempting to quit, or even succeeding in doing so.

He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the arrival of Xander and Willow, who had decided to check the back porch since their knocks on the front door had gone unanswered.

"Buff, there you are," Xander greeted, not even bothering to acknowledge Spike's presence. "We knocked and knocked, but there was no answer."

"So we checked the back and here you are...with Spike," Willow gave a little wave to the vampire. Next to Buffy, Willow was probably the only Scooby that Spike could stand and she seemed to have developed a soft spot for him as well. "Hiya Spike."

"Hello, Red," Spike simply nodded in acknowledgment.

Buffy's sigh was full of resignation. She loved her friends, but they were the last people that she wanted to see tonight. Not to mention that she didn't appreciate them just barging in like this. It felt like they were intruding somehow. Like these strange moments with Spike was something private...something that was just hers...and that feeling brought up questions that she wasn't even prepared to contemplate. "Why are you guys here?"

Willow whinged her hands, feeling as if she was intruding as well. But they were here now, so they might as well talk things over. "Giles called. He said that we need to talk to you...about slaying..."

"Bloody hell," Spike cursed, realizing where this was all going and was not at all surprised. "So the watcher called in the bloody cavalry."

"You don't have to talk to me about anything, least of all about slaying," Buffy got to her feet to face her friends. Anger at Giles filled her. Really, what did he expect this to accomplish? Did he think that Willow and Xander would have some magic words that would make her want to slay again?

"You see, there? That's where you're wrong," Xander held up a finger like he always did when he was about to make a point to straighten Buffy out, or that was the way Buffy thought of it. "G-man said that you had gotten it into your head to quit slaying again. As your friends, we're here to tell you that it's a bad plan."

"Again?" Spike asked, arching a brow. When had the slayer ever quit slaying?

"I had taken a break after I had sent Angel to hell...well...I guess you can say that I quit, but it didn't take back then," Buffy explained, turning her attention to Spike and then back to her friends. "Besides, this is different. I don't plan to leave Sunnydale and nothing will convince me to go back to slaying."

"Is it Dawn?" Willow asked, keeping her voice sympathetic. "Because I don't think that she'd want you too quit slaying."

"It's about me. I no longer have it in me to defend a world where teenage girls die while men like Willie the snitch live long lives! I just can't do it anymore!"

"Life isn't fair, Buffy. That doesn't mean that we just give up," Xander continued on, certain that he could get her to see reason. "Look, we all loved Dawn and we miss her. We'd do anything to get her back. But life moves on Buff. The world continues to need a slayer and right now, you're it. It's not something that you can just up and quit."

"That's the problem, Xander. I protect the world and I lose the people that I love. Merrick. Angel. Riley. Mom...Dawn. I can't lose anymore! I refuse to lose anyone else in the name of saving the world!"

"But Buffy...what about the lives that could have been saved if you don't quit?" Willow asked. "What about Sunnydale?"

"Yeah. We still live on top of a hellmouth in case you've forgotten," Xander chimed in.

"Well thanks to Spike, you have the Buffybot. I am sure that she is doing my job just fine, maybe even better."

"But the Bot is not...," Xander began, just to be interrupted.

"The girl said that she was finished. Instead of harassing her, how about respecting that decision and backing the hell off!"

"No one asked you, Spike," Xander turned a glare on the vampire. He never could stand Spike and was just looking for a reason to run a stake through him.

"Funny that you should say that. Buffy and I were just discussing that very topic when you lot arrived."

"Let me guess. You're all for it. You'd agree with anything just as long as it'd get you into her pants!"

"Xander!" Willow gasped, horrified by Xander's crudeness.

"Actually, I don't think that it's possible for her to quit being the slayer, but if she wants to give it a try, that is her decision, not mine and it's certainly not yours! Now back the hell off, whelp and let the girl alone. She at least deserves that much from you," Spike stood up and took a step towards Xander, wincing as he felt a warning tingle from the chip.

"Come on bleached wonder. Just give me an excuse," Xander growled, reaching for the stake that he kept with him at all times.

Buffy was about to step between them not in the mood for a fight, when the Buffybot ran into the back yard, sparks flying from a gash made in her forehead.

"Willow! I have been injured!" The Buffybot announced.

"Bloody hell," Spike groaned.

"Do you see?!" Xander jabbed a finger in the Buffybot's direction. "This is the reason why you can't quit and just leave it to the robot!"

"Hey, this is nothing I can't fix," Willow examined the gash closely. "Not to worry, she will live to slay another day."

"But still..."

"And Spike's right. It is Buffy's decision. We have to respect that, Xander," Willow sighed. She didn't think that quitting was a good idea either, but Buffy was more than a slayer to her. She was her best friend and it was clear that she was in a great deal of pain right now. She just couldn't push her on the slaying issue.

"Willow, why don't you bring the Buffybot into the house and fix it in there. Spike and Xander, it's late. You guys should go," Buffy rubbed her eyes, feeling too tired for any more arguments and there would be more if she didn't tell the boys to leave. Spike and Xander couldn't tolerate each other for more than an hour at a time when it wasn't a life or death situation.

Spike just nodded, feeling sad that the time with the slayer was cut short, but he understood and melted into the night as he left. Xander though just stood there looking like a lost puppy.

"Buffy, please reconsider," Xander tried one last time.

"Go home to Anya, Xander," was Buffy's tired reply.

"Willow...," Xander looked towards the witch, hoping that she would change her mind and try to reach Buffy. Maybe the slayer would listen to her.

But Willow only smiled. "Go home, sweetie."

The girls watched as the dejected Xander turned around to head for home. He could only hope that Buffy will come to her senses soon. He didn't like the thought of Sunnydale being without a slayer.

Left alone, the two girls ushered the robot into the house for the needed repairs.

…..

In a demon bar, somewhere miles away from Sunnydale, a vampire was setting next to a leather clad demon named Mag, telling his unbelievable story of his stand off with the slayer.

"So I get her cornered in this alley, see..."

Mag is skeptical. He ran into these vampires every day, bragging that they had taken on the slayer and lived to tell the tale when really they had ran away like wimps. "You get the slayer cornered."

"Yeah. I figured that it's my duty. She's a menace to our society. So we fight, and I'm like, pow pow pow," the vampire made some punching gestures to prove his point. "And I got her on the ropes."

Tired of listening to what Mag thought of as lies, he turned around and grabbed the vampire by the throat. "You're lying to me."

His voice choked, the vampire struggled to speak. "I swear on all that is unholy! You haven't even heard the best part, I cut her, right? And she's...I don't know, some kind of machine. She's not human!"

Looking into the vampire's eyes, Mag searched for any signs of a untruth. He frowned as he found none. By the look in his eyes, the vampire was telling the truth...or what he believed to be the truth. He let the vampire go. "You're high."

"I'm telling you, it wasn't even the slayer, man. It was like a trick. A robot!" His point made, the vampire began to drink his beer, but Mag grabbed him again and dragged him across the room and through a crowd of demons. He pushed the vampire up to the booth where the leader of his gang, Razor, was sitting.

Razor scowled, not liking to be interrupted, especially when it concerned vampires, the lowest kind of demon in his opinion. "What's with the blood rat?"

Mag growled at the vampire. "Talk."

"Okay, uh, so I was over in Sunnydale, minding my own beeswax, when I see the slayer," the vampire nervously began.

Mags shook him. "The part about the robot."

"We fought, right? And I was all over her, boom boom boom..."

Mag interrupted, his patience at an end. "He says that the slayer's been replaced by some kind of machine."

The vampire nodded eagerly. "A robot, yeah! And I kicked her synthetic ass. You should have seen the sparks."

Razor got up and towered over the vampire. "You tellin' me there's no slayer in Sunnydale?"

"That's what I'm saying, they've got some kind of decoy standing in for her," the vampire nodded, the false bravado was back in his voice. "Town is wide open."

"Nowhere like the hellmouth for a party," Mag looked at Razor. "There's all kinds of bad in that place."

Nodding thoughtfully, Razor laughed and was joined in by his gang and the vampire, who patted Razor's chest.

"I guess with your muscle, uh, you could own it in no time," the vampire chuckled nervously. "Hey look, I know you guys don't usually let vampires join the gang and I got the whole sunlight issue, but I was thinking, you know, as thanks for the 411, you could let me go..."

Razor didn't let the vampire finish. He grabbed the creature's throat and squeezed until his headless body fell to the floor dissolving into a cloud of dust.

"I'll think it over," Razor brushed the remaining dust off his hands. He looked around at the surrounding demons and yelled. "Let's ride!"

The demons all cheered and turned to go. Outside they mounted their bikes and rode off into a cloud of dust. Destination: the Hellmouth...


	3. Spell Disrupted

(A/N: Some dialogue is from the episode Bargaining 1. Again thank you for reading:))

Buffy came down the next morning to find Willow in the kitchen, checking the Buffy bot's vitals. She felt a twinge of guilt. If she would just go back to slaying, Willow would be doing something that she really wanted to do, like spend some time with Tara or work on her magic. But instead, she was here, making sure that the Buffy bot was still in working order so Sunnydale could stay safe. Maybe she should just give up on this notion of quitting. It wasn't like doing so would bring Dawn back. If only she felt like the world was worth it. That it never asked for more than she could handle. Really, that was the problem right there. The world was always demanding more and more from her. It was just that...this last time...it had asked for far too much. It asked for all she had and now, there was nothing left for her to give.

"So...is she going to be able to go out tonight?" Buffy asked, taking a low-fat yogurt out of the refrigerator.

"Yes. I'm just making sure that her reflexes and her puns are in place," Willow answered, frowning in concentration as she adjusted something on the robot.

"Spike is a sexy beast," the bot stated in her overly perky voice.

"Gross. That does not even sound like me and who says that? I'd never say that. I would say that Spike is a hottie, but not a sexy beast," Buffy frowned, feeling indignant. "He could of at least tried to make her sound like me."

"Well he is kind of sexy," Willow mumbled, gaining a glare from Buffy. "I mean...in a hottie kind of way...and well...hello, gay now!"

Buffy laughed. "No worries Wills. Spike is a hottie. I'll give him that much, but don't tell him I said that. That would give him ideas that I'm trying to get him to forget."

"Consider my lips zipped," Willow made a zipping motion over her mouth, as if zipping it shut.

Buffy just shook her head and laughed. Not wanting to be alone in the big house, Buffy had asked Willow and her girlfriend Tara to move in a month ago and she had yet to regret it. The girls were great company and kept her from drowning in her grief totally, but their presence hadn't been enough to make her want to continue slaying, unfortunately.

"So any romantic plans between you and your lady love tonight?" Buffy asked, digging a spoon out of the sink drawer. "Maybe we can bronze it, or something."

Willow winced. Tonight was not of the good. She hadn't told Buffy, because she didn't know if it'd work, but there was a very old dark magic spell that may make it possible to bring Dawn back. If they were going to do it, tonight had to be it, but she didn't want Buffy to know until they had Dawn back for sure. She didn't want to get the slayer's hopes up. They also hadn't told Giles and Spike. Spike because most likely he'd tell Buffy, and Giles because he would definitely disapprove.

"We can't tonight. We have a study group to attend and it's bound to go late. I'm sorry..."

Buffy shrugged, not thinking anything of it. "It's okay. School is important. In fact, I should be making plans to go back. I'll just have to rope Spike into something when he comes by tonight."

"He comes by a lot. What do you guys talk about out there?" Willow asked, curious and maybe a little bit jealous. Obviously the vampire was doing something for Buffy that the rest of the scoobies couldn't do or weren't doing. It would just be nice to know what that something was.

"Nothing really. He's just...quiet, you know? He doesn't expect anything from me. He just sits and if I want to talk about something, he listens...without giving me an opinion..."

"Like we did last night with the ambush," Willow bowed her head, guilty. "I'm sorry about that, Buffy. Giles asked us to talk to you, plus we were worried. We didn't mean to be so pushy or..."

"Judgmental?"

"Hey, was not judging! No judging here!" Willow held up a hand in defense. Then she lowered them. "Well I wasn't judging anyway..."

"I know Xander means well...but...he just doesn't understand. He thinks that everything is black and white and simple, but it's not. I didn't take the choice to quit lightly. I spent all Summer going back and forth with myself. I don't even know if it'll take, but I have to try. I need...I need a break. Spike gets that. I don't know if it's because he spent so much time studying slayers or what, but he gets it."

"We get it too, Buffy. That's why, she's here," Willow motioned to the bot. "Giles is just worried that she won't last or something will happen to give the gig up. He just wants to know that the real slayer will be ready for duty if that ever happens."

"Well I guess he better break out Faith, because this slayer has retired," Buffy finished off her yogurt and threw it in the trash and the spoon into the sink before walking to the door leading into the dining room.

"Buffy...," Willow sighed, not wanting her friend to leave mad, but know that she was there for her if she ever needed someone.

"What Wills?" Buffy stopped in the doorway, but kept her back turned, not wanting to see the concern on Willow's face.

"It's going to get better. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will."

"It's had three months to get better. It hasn't and I doubt that it ever will," was all Buffy could say before walking away. She knew that she wasn't putting Willow's mind at ease. She knew that they were all worried about what would become of Sunnydale if she didn't take up slaying again. But with her mother and Dawn gone, she just didn't have it in her to care. She wished that they would just understand that and let her be.

…..

Giles was in the magic box cataloging some new inventory when Xander and Willow entered, ready to report on their conversation with Buffy.

"How did it go?" Giles closed the ledger and placed it in the drawer under the register.

"Not good. She is insisting that her days of slayage are well and over," Xander sighed, collapsing into one of the chairs surrounding the table that was piled high with books, as usual. "I guess we better hope that the bot holds up. The Buffster is being rather insistent on this quitting idea."

"She's not in a good place right now, Giles. She believes that things will never get better, that it's all in vain. I don't think that there's anything that can change her mind this time," Willow sighed. "Dawn's death...it took all the fight out of her."

"We'll just give her more time. Maybe she'll come around once it's apparent that we really need her back on the job. The slayer part of her...it won't allow her to quit fully, I don't believe. We'll just have to let her see that for herself."

"What are you saying? Just let Buffy go and do what she wants? Let her leave us all in danger?" Xander questioned.

"Xander, that's not what he meant..."

"Well what else did he mean? I mean...we can't do this on our own forever, Wills. We have a slayer in town for a reason. We can't just let her walk away just because Dawn's gone. God, we lived without her before and Buffy was just fine. She can pull up those boot straps and live without her again, right?"

Giles just glared at Xander and went down to the training room, not really wanting to discuss this anymore with the boy. Xander meant well, but sometimes his judgments were more hurtful than helpful.

"Dawn was Buffy's family Xand. She had just lost her mom, then her sister...that's a lot for a girl to handle, even if she does have superhuman strength," Willow shook her head.

"Willow...I didn't mean..."

"Sometimes I wonder if you see Buffy the girl and not Buffy the slayer. Excuse me, I have to go meet Tara at the library," Willow sighed, walking out the door. "See you tonight."

Xander watched her go, regretting his blunt words. Sometimes he wondered if Anya was rubbing off on him instead of him rubbing off on her...which brought up images he really had no time to imagine right now...

…..

Evening once again brought Spike, back to sit on the back porch steps with the newly retired Buffy, who just sat there, staring into space, not really thinking about anything. Her mind was totally clear.

"Feel like company, pet?" Spike asked.

"No. But you're not so bad, so I think I can tolerate you," Buffy shrugged. "At least you won't be making me feel guilty about quitting the slayage."

"They're still at it, huh?"

Buffy shrugged. To be honest, she hadn't really seen the others since the talk with Willow that morning. Something told her that they were up to something, but she couldn't even put too much care into asking what. Now she sort of wished that she had. Not that it would change her mind. No matter what the scoobies cooked up, she was done with it all.

"They're at something. I just don't know what," Buffy sighed, her small hands hugging her shoulders. "They make me feel bad for needing this. Like I'm letting them down."

"Don't worry about letting them, down pet. They're not you. They don't have to live your life or feel your pain. Only you get to do that. Do what's best for you," Spike lit up a cigarette, ignoring the glare it earned him. "Have you ever thought about hitting the road?"

"You mean leaving? I did that once before and I was still drawn back in. I didn't even see much of anything. I just went back to LA and moped."

"Well...have you thought of doing something different? No go back to LA? Go somewhere different and keep moving. See the sodden world while you're at it."

"What? Like a road trip? Don't you need a car for that?"

Spike just shrugged in reply. "Maybe."

"What would be the point?" She asked, eying the vampire next to her. "What is so special out there that will make me forget my pain, huh?"

"Well, I've lived one hundred plus years and I've seen the world numerous times...there's a lot out there to see. A lot out there that will make you forget, make you remember, make you want to make a change for the better or for the worse. It's constantly changing. It's something to be experienced, pet. And you can't experience the world stuck in this little berg."

"So you think I should leave. See the world, huh? Will it help me stop slaying?"

Spike shrugged. "I don't know. That's a part of you that may never go away. But at least leaving Sunnydale will help you heal. May even make you find happiness again. You won't know unless you try."

Buffy looked at him, contemplating his words. Leave Sunnydale. See the world...it sounded so tempting, yet so impossible. The others won't give her a moments peace. They'll come looking for her and drag her back to be forever the slayer, guardian of the hell mouth. "It's a nice dream."

"But one you are not going to embark upon," Spike chuckled, putting out the cigarette and tossing it away into the yard.

"I have no money. I can't drive. I don't even know where I would start," Buffy got to her feet. "Like I said. It was a nice dream, but a dream it shall stay."

"Well, it was just a thought pet. Ole Spike just trying to help."

"I know...it's appreciated, really," Buffy found herself smiling. "Well, I'm going to go in and veg in front of the TV with some ice cream and chocolate. I have some blood in the fridge if you'd like to join me?" Buffy invited, no longer feeling like being alone. She was finding that she enjoyed Spike's company more and more. There was no pressure, no judgment. Just good company. That's what she needed right now. Not well meaning friends trying to revive her interest in life and slaying, but someone that would just let her be for as along as she wanted.

Spike was surprised. He hadn't been expecting Buffy to invite him anywhere to spend time with her. It was a gesture that was unexpected, but appreciated. "Sure thing, pet. I hear that there's some kind of marathon on the telly tonight. Twin Peaks I believe..."

…..

Demons on motorcycles come roaring around a bend on a curvy two-lane highway on a hill. The sign they pass read welcome to Sunnydale. The town below them is quiet and dark, just waiting to be plundered and destroyed.

In a forest, the night is dark, but that didn't bother Tara, Willow, Xander, and Anya. They had made plans to bring Dawn back, hoping that it'd kick Buffy back into gear and want to slay again. The reappearance of Dawn would heal so much in their broken friend and bring her back to herself again. Make her see that the world was worth saving after all.

At that moment, they were standing in a semicircle beside Dawn's grave. Willow was directly at the foot of the grave while Xander and Tara held lit candles. Anya also held a candle, but was having trouble getting it lit.

"Does everybody have their candles?" Willow asked.

"I'm trying, my lighter won't stay lit," Anya continued to flick her lighter, trying to get it to work.

"Well, hurry, it has to..."

"What time is it?" Tara asked.

"A minute until midnight," Xander checked his watch. "Has anyone heard from Buffy today? I meant to check on her, but there was some last minute things at the site I had to take care of."

"I haven't seen her since this morning. I had to get ready for the spell," Willow winced, feeling guilty for seemingly abandoning her best friend, but hopefully after tonight, all will be forgiven.

"Giles has been too busy with the inventory, I doubt that he had time to check on her," Anya grinned as her candle finally lit up.

"I was studying for tomorrow's exam," Tara stammered.

"It's just as well, I guess. She may have suspected something if she saw any of us and then the surprise would be ruined. Think guys. Buffy's face when she sees Dawn back and healthy," Willow grinned.

"A sight for sore eyes," Xander agreed. "Wills, about this afternoon...our argument..."

"Think nothing of it, sweetie. I know you meant well and just want the best for Buffy. That's why we're all here doing this. For Buffy. Come on, Anya. Do you have it?" Willow checked her watch.

"I go it, I got it. I got it," She held up the lit candle.

"Okay. Start the circle. Now."

They all knelt, holding their candles, except Willow, who holds the Urn of Osiris.

Willow produced a small jar containing what looked to be blood, and pours it into the urn. Both Tara and Xander looked nervous. They've never done anything like this before and Tara had heard that resurrection spells could be tricky. If you don't get the ingredients just right, the spell won't work. The person will either come back wrong, or not at all. Tara hoped that if anything went wrong, it'd be the not at all option.

"Osiris, keeper of the gate, master of all fate, hear us," Willow dipped her finger into the urn and marked her forehead and both cheeks with the blood. "Before time, and after. Before knowing and nothing."

Willow then poured the contents of the urn onto the earth. "Accept our offering. Know our prayer."

Willow suddenly jerked backward, panting and her arms shot out to her sides. Deep gashes appear on her arms.

"Willow!" Xander reached for her, frightened by what he was seeing.

"No!" Tara shouted, stuttering. "She t...she told me...she'd be tested. This is supposed to happen."

Willow's voice grew louder as she spoke. "Osiris! Here lies the sister of the warrior of the people. Let her cross over."

Willow winced in pain as round shapes began to move under her bleeding skin. She moans in pain. The other watch in horror as the round things move up her arms and over her chest towards her neck.

"She needs help!" Xander cried out, dying to go to his best friend.

"Xander, she's strong! She said not to stop no matter what. If we break the cycle now, it's over."

"I don't care! It's not worth this!" Xander got up and pulled Willow away, breaking the cycle. He felt relief as the round things disappeared and Willow's wounds healed.

Suddenly they hear a rumbling and they look around nervously.

"Oh god, what's that noise? Maybe you shouldn't have done that Xander...," Anya looked around.

…..

On Sunnydale's Main Street, people were screaming in fear as the demons on motorcycles roar through the downtown area. The demons drive over cars, through curbside restaurant tables, between pedestrians. At least one demon grabbed a woman and pulled her onto his bike. They are throwing garbage cans through windows, hitting cars with baseball bats and causing all kinds of destruction.

…..

Back at the Summer's house, Buffy and Spike were totally immersed in the first season of Twin Peaks when the sound of motorcycles pull their attention away from the drama.

"What the hell is that?" Buffy frowned, turning towards the window as she heard the screech of tires and crashing noises.

Spike got up and went to look out to see the demons riding on people's front yards, throwing trash around and breaking into houses. Buffy walks up behind Spike and peered out the window.

"What's going on?" She asked.

Spike whispered. "Stay away from the window." He took Buffy by the shoulders and led her towards the foyer.

"What is it? What's happening?" Buffy continued to ask, wondering if she was going to be forced to use her slaying skills after all. 

"Just do as I say," was Spike's only answer. Normally, Buffy would get pissed off with being treated with kid gloves, like she didn't know how to defend herself, but with her lack of motivation to take up the slayer mantel again, she thought it was best to do what Spike said.

Spike checked the front door, making sure that it was locked. He turned to Buffy again, his eyes revealing how worried he was. "I'm going to check the rest of the house."

"Wait! I'll come with you," Buffy sighed. She didn't want to let Spike handle this alone. Not when she knew that could help.


	4. A Nice Spot of Violence

**(A/N: Some actions and dialog are from Bargaining 2. Also thank you to everyone who is reading, reviewing, following and favoriting the story:) I hope that you continue to enjoy:))**

The demons were still running rampant and various things were burning. A demon smashed the windows of a car with the logo " " on it. He turned and went off waving his weapon. Sounds of demons yelling and people screaming filled the night.

A couple of demons were looking through a woman's purse as the demon known as Mag was taking stuff out of a store window display where the glass was smashed in.

"That doesn't belong to you," The Buffy bot stood behind him.

Mag turned and saw the Buffy bot standing there with her hands on her hips.

"Put it back," the Buffy bot demanded.

Mag opened his mouth to let out a high-pitched squeal, gaining the attention of all the other demons. The Buffy bot looked around nervously as the demons began to surround her. Razor, the leader of the demons came right up to her as the others formed a circle.

"Slayer," The demon looked at her. "I've been hearing interesting things about you."

"Yes. I am interesting," the bot replied, looking around. "These your friends?"

"They're my boys, yeah," Razor answered.

"Good. Now tell them to get back on their loud bicycles and go back to wherever they came from."

"Or what? You'll electrocute us?" Razor punched her in the face. The bot staggered back into a couple of other demons, who caught her and held her arms.

"Hold her," Razor ordered.

The bot struggled as Razor came forward and lifted his hand, revealing a set of ugly claws. Then an even uglier set of serrated metal claws popped out at the end of his fingers. He reached out and swiped at the bot, making slashes in her shirt and shoulder. Blue sparks sizzle from the wound.

"You're nothing but a toy. A pretty toy. Wanna play?" Razor snorted. He moved a little closer, just so the bot could knee him in the groin. As he doubled over, she went into a back flip, kicking him in the face with both feet and broke free from her captors.

"I would, but you've injured me. I have to return to Willow," The bot turned and delivered spin kicks to two of the demons, laid out four or five more of them in quick succession with mostly kicks and a few punches. She then leaped over the prone bodies and ran off. Razor lifted himself up onto an elbow

"Get her!" He shouted.

A few more demons tried to stop the bot, but she punched them out of the way. The rest of the demons that she had already fought got up and onto their motorcycles and went after her.

…..

Back at the graveyard, Xander held onto an unconscious Willow. He cowered under the glare of Tara and Anya.

"It was killing her! I couldn't let her keep it up!" He tried to defend himself.

"She's strong, she could have handled it! She was trying to do this for Buffy Xander!" Tara yelled.

"Well, I'm sorry! Maybe we can try again! Tomorrow!"

"It had to be tonight, Xander! We could only use the Urn once and it was the only one we could find, not to mention all the stars and planets being in the right position...you've ruined everything! Now we'll never get Dawn back!" Tara angrily yelled.

Suddenly the Buffy bot ran up behind Tara. "Willow! I need service!"

The sound of motorcycles revving filled the air. The bot looked behind her and ran off as the motorcycle demons rode up. The demons rode around the bot, trapping her. They also surrounded the others. Anya yelped as she and the others clutched each other and look around at the demons.

"Willow!" Tara screamed as one of the demons ran his bike over the Urn of Osiris, shattering it.

"No!" Willow screamed, waking up just in time to see the destruction. Feeling lightheaded, she fainted again.

"Willow!" Tara ran forward, but Mag rode in front of her, cutting her off. Tara screamed and moved back.

"Look what I found!" Mag shouted as the demons continued to ride in circles around the Buffy bot.

Seeing an opening, Xander dashed forward and grabbed Willow and pulled her out of the way just as Mag rode his bike through the spot where she was lying.

"Take off! Go! Go!" Xander yelled to Tara and Anya who did what he said without question. Xander picked Willow up and began to carry her to a different part of the forest. He stopped and put her down with her back against a tree as she began to wake up. "Willow. Willow, are you okay?"

"Why did you stop it?" She weakly asked, staring at Xander with accusing eyes.

"I...I'm sorry. I saw what was happening to you and got scared..."

Willow didn't say anything else. She just passed out again. Xander knelt there on the ground with Willow laying across his lap. He looked around nervously, still hearing the motorcycles surrounding them.

…..

Giles felt the insides of his stomach twist as he watched the carnage go on outside his store. Thankfully the demons hadn't touched the magic box. At least not yet anyway. He wondered where everyone was, if they were safe. Maybe he should call Buffy...convince her somehow to defend the town against this scourge, because the Buffy bot obviously wasn't doing much of a job of it.

Suddenly, Tara and Anya came rushing into the shop, looking frantic. They had hoped that Xander had gotten himself and Willow away and had come back here to regroup and plan.

"Willow, Xander!" Tara called, going into the back room to look around, but came back as Anya looked around the store.

"They are not here," Giles took off his eye glasses and began to rub them with a handkerchief.

Tara looked disappointed at Giles answer, but Anya looked relieved.

"Thank god," She sighed, confusing Tara even more. "No, I mean, my store hasn't been looted."

"What is going on out there? Where are Xander and Willow? Where is the Buffy bot? Buffy is on top of this, right?" Gile's questions were in quick succession. It took a minute for everyone to process it all.

"Demons on motorcycles are running amuck in town...we don't know where Xander and Willow are we were hoping that they had came here and the last time we saw the bot was running away from the demons and we don't know if the real Buffy cares enough to do anything about this,"Anya quickly explained.

"I-I'm sure Buffy is o-out fighting right now," Tara stammered. Surely the slayer wouldn't just set back and let these demons destroy the town. Surely she'd do something, plans to retire or not.

Both girls turned to look as loud banging noises came from outside.

"Change that to haven't been looted yet," Anya chewed on her bottom lip. She looked at Giles with fear in her eyes. "Well, you're the grown up here! Do something!"

Giles winced at the squeak the handkerchief made on his glasses as he rubbed the glass harder. "And what is it that you expect me to do?"

"I don't know...something to make them stop," Anya pouted, following Tara to the window to peek out. "Xander...," She softly moaned in worry.

"They'll be alright," Tara tried to reassure her.

"Then where are they? Why aren't they here?"

"I don't know," Tara frowned.

"I am going to try to call Buffy," Giles went for the phone as Anya and Tara turned away from the window and walked deeper into the store.

"They could be hurt. Xander could be lying somewhere broken and bleeding, calling out my name," Anya was clearly getting agitated, imagining all kinds of things that could be happening to her boyfriend.

"Anya..."

"Like that, oh god!," She continued to walk. "What if, what if they're really hurt, what if they're dead?"

Tara was firm with her answer. "They're not."

"How do you know?"

"Because he's with Willow. And if something...happened, I'd know. And so would you."

Anya's answer was a little calmer. "You think?"

Tara hugged Anya, trying to be as comforting as she could under the circumstances. "I'm sure of it. They're fine. They're both fine."

Giles hung up the phone, his frown evident. "No answer. Maybe she's out fighting now...surely she would fight to protect the city. She wouldn't just leave it up to the bot, would she?"

Ignoring Giles, Tara pulled away from Anya. "Maybe they got lost, in the woods."

"The woods?" Anya frowned. "Are we going back to the woods? I hate the woods. All those woodsy trees."

"What in heavens name were you doing in the woods?" Giles asked, finally wondering where the scoobies had been all this time and why they were separated now.

"It's a long story that we don't have time to go into right now," Tara looked away from the former librarian, feeling guilty. He was not going to like what they had attempted to do and she dreaded the conversation that was bound to take place. "Right now we have to find Willow and Xander. They may be lost, but that's good. Willow and I always know how to find each other." Excitement took over from guilt when she realized that she knew exactly what to do.

Tara ran to the round table and shoved all the stuff off of it and climbed up on it, sitting cross-legged, she placed her hands on her knees.

"With Yoga?" Anya asked, confused on how this was going to find Xander.

"Shh!" Tara closed her eyes. "Aradia, hear my words."

…..

Willow leaned on Xander for support as they walked along, looking for a way out of the forest.

"Okay, this is really starting to grate my cheese. These woods aren't that big. Now, I know we've been going straight because I've been following the North Star."

Willow looked up and frowned. "That's not the North Star. That's an airplane." They come to a stop, realizing that they were getting even more lost than before. Making a pained face, Willow staggered over to a tree and leaned against it.

"Nah, that's not an airplane, it's definitely...," He looked harder then sighed, feeling even more embarrassed than usual. "A blimp. But I can see how one...could make the airplane mistake."

"I can't walk anymore," Willow panted. "I need to rest."

"It can't be much further..."

"You said that an hour ago. I just...that spell took a lot out of me. And it was all for nothing," She threw a glare at Xander. If it hadn't been for him, they'd have Dawnie with them right now.

"What were we into back there, Will?"

"It doesn't matter anyway."

"Do not get all avoidy on me," Xander replied, feeling annoyed. He knew that Willow was mad at him, but that spell had been scary and they had obviously been dealing with some pretty dark stuff.

"I'm not avoidy, I just...we have bigger problems. Demons?"

"Demons! Ah. There's something you don't see everyday," Xander chuckled sarcasticly. "Unless you're us."

Willow was more than annoyed now. Xander had ruined everything. All of her hard work, all of her preparation and search for just the right objects...it had all been for nothing because Xander got scared and didn't trust that she knew what she was doing! "Yeah, and now we're lost, so we can...," she stopped as she spotted something up ahead. "What's that?"

"See? Avoidy."

Willow pointed. "Over there, that-that light."

Xander looked, his eyes widening as he spotted a blue light in the distance. "That one moving towards us? Incredibly fast?" 

"Hello?" Willow called.

"Hello? We're being hunted, and you're hello-ing a strange fast-moving light in the dark? It could be anything," Xander watched as the light came closer but was still hard to see through the trees. "It's a motorcycle headlight."

Willow began to smile. "No. It's too small."

"Stay behind me," Xander picked up a stick from the ground and moved forward.

"Xander, I don't..."

"Stay down. I'll take care of this," the light flew right up to Xander and circled his head. The light was a small blue ball.

"Xander, it's...," Willow tried to interrupt. 

"A bug! A big fiery bug!" He tried to shoo it away.

"Xander..."

"Get off! Do fireflies bite? No, they probably burn, don't they? They...yaa!"

Will began to smile. "Xander, it's not a bug," Her smile grew bigger. "It's Tara."

Willow pushed away from the tree and followed the light as it moved off. "Come on."

She walked past Xander and on through the trees. Xander, having no choice, followed. "And how long have you known that your girlfriend's Tinkerbell?"

…..

Finding that the house had not been broken into, Spike and Buffy returned to the first floor and ran around the side of the Summer's house, crouching down behind a bush against the wall. Spike looked out at the street as Buffy tried to move forward to look too, but he shoved her behind him, feeling protective.

"Get back," he warned.

They watched as some demons rode their bikes up onto the porch of a house across the street. Spike got up a little so he could see better. The demons broke some windows and went into the house, where there were some people inside. Spike continued to watch as a woman screamed. A small smile flicked across his face as Buffy peered over his shoulder.

"It looks like they're just...wrecking stuff. No thought other than just destruct-o-rama," Buffy frowned as she noticed the grin on Spike's face as a demon threw some chairs out through the windows.

"What?" She asked, not really surprised that he'd find this funny. After all, he was evil and had no soul. Sometimes, he made her forget that, then like clockwork, he'd remind her of the fact once again.

"Uh, oh, nothing. Just, uh...," He nodded towards the action. "Looked like fun. I'm just saying," He looked around. "With this kind of frolicking going on all around town, we're not gonna get very far without..."

Spike spied something away from the wall. There's a football helmet and a baseball bat lying on the ground. Spike moved away from the wall and picked up the helmet, tossing it to Buffy, who caught it looking confused.

"Stay right there, Slayer," Spike commanded.

"What are you up to? Shouldn't we be...?"

"Stop getting your panties in a twist, love. Just stay there and watch. I'm about to get us some wheels."

Buffy just rolled her eyes and did as directed, a part of her was itching to get out there and fight, but another part of her was curious about what Spike was going to do and decided to hold back on the natural urge to kick ass. So she watched as Spike walked away and stood in the middle of the street, in the path of a demon on a motorcycle coming around a corner at hide speed. She saw Spike's hand twitching as the demon rode towards him, yet Spike didn't move. At the last second, the vampire jumped up into the air and kicked the demon off the bike. The demon landed hard as Spike ran over to the crashed motorcylce, picked it up and got on.

"Let's fly, Slayer!" Spike called out. Taking one last look at the houses under attack, Buffy knew that she couldn't just leave. She had to take care of this. "Hold on!"

She stomped over to the demon on his back and kicked his head off his body. "Not too bad. Help me with the others and I'll go with you."

Spike rolled his eyes. "What happened to retiring, slayer?"

"It's been a while since I had a decent spot of violence," Buffy made an excuse for her actions. This was not her coming out of retirement by any means. This was just her scratching an itch. "Are you with me or not?"

Spike rolled his eyes and growled. "Can never say no to a spot of violence, now can I?"

Together, Spike and Buffy entered the house that they had seen the demons enter. There are sounds of fighting and roars from outside of the house. Soon enough, the pair come out, looking rather satisfied with themselves.

Spike returned to his newly acquired motorcycle and hoped on. "Ready, pigeon?"

"Ready," Buffy got on behind him and held on tight, her heart beating with excitement and something else that she hadn't felt in a good long time.

…..

Anya and Tara rushed to the door of the magic box as there's frantic knocking at the door.

"Already been looted, sorry! Uh, try the appliance store down the block, they've got great toasters," Anya called out.

"Anya!" Giles cried out, indignant.

"Anya!" Xander called out from the other side of the door.

"Xander?" Anya opened the door so Willow and Xander could come in. Willow hugged Tara as Xander closed and locked the door.

Anya hugged him tightly. "I knew you weren't dead."

"Wow, then why was I so worried?"

"Are you...?" Tara led Willow to a chair, worried. She looked so weak and exhausted.

"Uh, not yet. But I will be," Willow answered, feeling relief course through her as she sat down.

Gile frowned at Willow's state. "What have you children been up to, in the woods at this time of night?" There was only one thing he could think that they could be doing that led to Willow to be in such a state of exhaustion and the thought of it infuriated him. How could they be so thoughtless?

Xander shifted from foot to foot, guilt written all over his face. "What makes you think we were up to something, g-man? Maybe we were out on patrol with Buffy being retired and all..."

"Patrol takes place in cemeteries, not the woods. Now tell me, what were you four up to or so help me, I will go out there and find out myself!"

The scoobies all shared guilty looks. Giles wasn't supposed to have found out like this. Dawn was supposed to be with them when he found out they had done the spell. She was supposed to be alive and healthy and in Buffy's ecstatic arms once again and Giles was to be miffed for sure and worried, but his anger would be tempered by the return of Dawn and the lifting of Buffy's depression. Instead, there was no Dawn, Buffy was still in retirement, and they had to deal with Gile's wrath.

"Well...there was this spell...," Willow began...twisting her hands nervously. "A spell that could have brought Dawn back...if it had gone uninterrupted." The last part was said with a glare directed at Xander.

"Good lord, are you saying that you tried to resurrect Dawn?! Are you completely daft?! You rank amateur, do you realize what you could have done?!" Giles yelled, beginning to pace the floor. "You could have opened up hell on earth! This might just be hell on earth by the look of those demons out there!"

"I-It wasn't like that, Giles! We didn't open up anything! I was just asking Osiris to return Dawn to us and he would have!" 

"Well obviously he didn't! Or else where is she?" Giles wrestled to get control of his temper. He just couldn't believe Willow. She had always been the reasonable, level headed one. She never did anything complicated with magic unless running it by him first. To find out that she didn't even consult him about bringing Dawn back...the consequences of what could have happened...it made him feel sick.

"He would have if Xander hadn't interrupted the cycle! If he had just left me alone we would have had Dawn back and Buffy would be slaying again and everything would be back to normal! I didn't do anything wrong here, Giles!"

"You were playing with forces beyond your control! Who knows what you would have brought back if Xander hadn't put a stop to it! You were foolish and irresponsible and I am very very disappointed in all of you!"

Silence reigned over the room, guilt and embarrassment written on the faces of the scoobies. Giles was the one adult that all of them had trusted and admired and to see him so angry with them was sobering.

"And don't get me started on how manipulative this is towards Buffy. I hope to the powers that be that you didn't tell her about this," Giles began to pace the floor.

"We didn't tell Buffy. We wanted to make sure it worked first," Willow mumbled.

"Um...I know that you're rightfully pissed at us, but don't you think we have more important things to worry about? Like say...demons?!" Xander reminded them as they heard the sound of a motorcycle just outside the door.

Outside, the Buffybot ran towards the magic box and is cut off by the demons. Not only did they cut off her path, but they surround her as the leader Razor got off. He walked up to the bot and wrapped a chain around each arm and leg. He then turned to his minions.

"Say hello to your new home, boys!"

The demons clap and cheer, all of their attention was on their leader.

"This here is a momentous occasion, the beginning of a new era," Razor continued. "Now, no question, the open back-roads and highways have been good to us. But we've got ourselves a juicy little burg here, just ripe for the picking. And I ain't in no hurry to leave it, you?"

The demons all yell "no" as Giles and the scoobies gather behind the door of the magic box, watching.

"So I figure, what better way to kick off our...semi-settling-down, than with a little christening?"

Again the demons cheered as a couple of them began attaching the other end of the chains attached to the bot to their motorcycles. They grinned at each other as the cheering continued.

"A symbolic act commemorating the new order around here...and ridding ourselves of any not-so-pleasant reminders of the old," Razor continued. He pulled out a gun and held it up as he put a bullet in it. "All in one quick, really really violent fell swoop."

Razor held up the gun and grinned. "Gentlemen, start your engines."

The demons started up their bikes.

"Bye-bye, slayer!" Razor fired the gun into the air.

"No!" Willow screamed as the four motorcycles all move off in four different directions, ripping the bot's arms and leggs from her body and her torso flying off somewhere as Razor grinned.

"No, Buffy," Willow sobbed, leaning back against Tara, whose arms comfortingly wrapped around her.

"That wasn't Buffy, Wills. That was the bot," Was Xander's grim statement. "That's it. Gig is up."

"Thank god, that wasn't Buffy," Giles felt his shoulders slump in relief, then tense up as the demons took notice of the magic box.

"Looks like we have some looting to help us celebrate, what do you say boys?" Razor grinned.

"Oh no, my money! Giles, they can't come in here! My money is here!" Anya whined.

"I think we have more things to worry about than your money, at the moment An," Xander sighed, wishing that Anya would get her head out of the til for more than a minute.

Suddenly, the sound of another motorcycle approaching drew attention away from the magic box. The scoobies and Giles each felt relief to see Spike and Buffy enter the scene, each carrying a weapon.

"Looks like retirement is over," Xander grinned. "Now these guys are going to learn what happens when you go up against the real slayer."

"Why look at what we have here," Razor approached the slayer and the vampire. "A halfbreed and another bot. How about that. How about another rip her upper, eh boys?!"

The demons again cheered.

"Bloody idiots, don't you know the real slayer when you see her?" Spike eyed the separated parts of the Buffy bot, a part of him grieving the loss. If it hadn't been for the bot...he doubted that he could have made Buffy see that his feelings for her were real.

"Don't worry about it, Spike. I'm sure that these nice demons will figure it out. Once I'm done killing them," Buffy stood next to him, wearing her perkiest smile.

Angry, Razor threw a punch, hitting Buffy in the face. Her head whipped to the side, but she didn't move. Razor then looked uncertain as Buffy turned her head back to face him again. There's blood on her lip, but her face had hardened into a familiar expression that all the demons that have gone against her recognized, including Spike.

"Oh, you're in for it now, mate," Spike grinned.

Razor threw another punch, but Buffy stopped it, grabbing his fist and holding it immobile. With her other hand, she punched him in the face twice, then she kicked him to the ground, unconscious. Roars of outrage filled the air as Buffy took her sword and swiftly separated Razor's head from his body, killing him instantly.

"Looks like we're about to party, pet!" Spike called out, getting into fighting position, feeling his demon roar up with excitement.

Buffy too felt something inside her wake up and take over as demons began to pour upon her and Spike from all sides. The scoobies watched in awe as Slayer and vampire ducked, punched, kicked, and decapitated until they were the last ones standing, bloodied, bruised, but alive.

"Now that's what I call a nice spot of violence, pet," Spike grinned, morphing back into his human face.

Buffy looked at the ruined pieces of the Buffy bot and sighed, the excitement from the fight beginning to fade. "Great. No more bot."

"I am sure that something can be thought up, yeah? Get that Meers bloke back here and have him build another, much more approved bot," Spike picked up a arm and then threw it away. He had been a fool to have the bot built in the first place. Bolts and plastic did not compare to the flesh and blood girl, that was for sure.

"They're definitely going to insist that I come out of retirement now," Buffy sighed.

"Buffy you're back! Yay!" Xander was the first one out of the magic box, rushing up to Buffy and wrapping his arms around her. "I knew that you'd come through for us!"

"You saved my money!" Anya was next, joining Xander in squashing Buffy in a hug.

Spike rolled his eyes. "You may want to let the girl breathe. She may be a slayer, but she's still human. The last time I checked, that made air a very important commodity."

Xander released Buffy and glared at Spike. "Why are you here?"

"It's a good thing I was here, whelp or you'd all be demon food by now."

Buffy sighed and got between Xander and Spike, annoyed. "Come on you guys. Cut it out. I think there's more important things to discuss than Spike's presence here."

"I'm just saying, he's evil. Shouldn't he be like cheering them on or something?" Xander lead the way back into the magic box, where everyone else was waiting.

"Xander, again. Shut up," Buffy was beginning to become annoyed herself. She loved Xander dearly, but his anti-vampire stance could get over the top, especially when it concerned Angel and Spike. "He's an ally. We don't shoot allys in the feet...or foot...or whatever. Just play nice."

"Buffy, thank god!" Giles went up and embraced her. "I was so worried...especially when I saw what happened to the bot...before I knew that it was the bot..."

"Giles, come on. Certainly you could tell the difference between me and the bot, right?" Buffy laughed.

Giles just laughed. "You are quite right. I should have been able to tell. Well, now since the bot is gone and you're out of retirement, we can..."

"Wait. Who said that I was out of retirement?"

"Well...you did fight off the demons, Buff. That kind of says back on the job," Xander rubbed the back of his neck.

"And you looked happy while doing it," Willow also pointed out, leaning on Tara, still feeling exhausted.

"Well I couldn't just let a gang of hellions take over the town," Buffy shrugged. "But that does not mean that I'm back on the job. This was just a one time only thing. I'm sorry, guys but I'm not back."

"But Buffy, the bot is gone and we need...," Willow moved forward just to moan and lean back against Tara as dizziness overtook her again.

"Wills? What's wrong? What have you guys been up to? I didn't think study groups made you look like you've just run a marathon," Buffy frowned, taking note of how grey and worn Willow looked. "Were you guys doing some kind of spell?"

The scoobies looked at Giles for help, but he shook his head, refusing to help them explain. "This is your mess. Explain it to her," Giles marched down to the training room, not wanting to even look at the scoobies at that moment.

"Something sure has gotten into Rupert's bonnet," Spike observed.

Willow twisted her hands and swallowed down her nervousness. She didn't even know why she was so nervous. This was Buffy. Her very best friend in the whole world. She could never stay mad at her, not really. Then again...this was different. This had to do with Dawn. "You've been so depressed over the last three months, missing Dawn and all. We've all missed Dawn and we thought that maybe...if we could find a way...we could bring her back..."

Buffy felt her heart sink into her stomach at this news. She stared at her friends in disbelief. "What did you do?"

"Well...I had ordered a urn of Osiris and...well...I killed a fawn and...we were going to use this spell to bring Dawn back. We thought it'd make you happy again and go back to slaying...and well...it didn't work...I didn't get to finish the spell and I can't do it again because that was the last urn and you can only use it once and..."

"You wanted to bring back my dead sister so I would go back to slaying?" Buffy stared at Willow, the hurt was clear in her voice and eyes.

"Well, when you say it like that..."

"You were willing to tear Dawn out of heaven, because you wanted me to go back to killing for you again?" 

Willow winced. She hadn't thought of Dawn being in heaven. She just thought of her as dead. When Buffy said it like that...it made what she had been about to do sound awful. "Buffy...it wasn't meant to hurt you. We just needed you to get well again. To go back to..."

"Killing things for you."

"Well...yeah. You are the slayer after all," Anya matter of factly replied. "Killing things is in the job description."

"You people are a piece of work," Spike chuckled, his hand on his hips. "The girl asked you to leave her alone and you go about making plans on how to manipulate her."

"That's not what we were doing! We were trying to make her happy again," Willow tried to explain her side. "She wouldn't even have had to go back to slaying if she didn't want to. We were just trying to get Dawn back."

"So I would go back to being the slayer while the rest of you go about your everyday normal lives and never have to sacrifice one damn thing," Buffy stepped back, placing a hand to her head as she felt a headache begin to grow.

"Hold on a minute, Buff, that's not fair!" Xander stepped forward, to defend Willow.

"Oh really? Is it fair to be expected to get over my grief when the rest of you think it's appropriate? Huh? Is it fair for my friends to plan to use my sister to manipulate me into doing what they wanted so they don't have to be a little more careful around town? You guys have no idea what it's really like, being the slayer!"

"It's not like you weren't planning to come out of retirement anyway, judging from the ass you just kicked out there," Xander motioned outside towards the dead demon bodies.

"That was not me coming out of retirement. That was me CHOOSING to help. Who knows, maybe that was me coming out of retirement. Maybe I would have decided to slay again because it breaks the boredom of life in Sunnydale. Too bad you'll never know, because now, I am officially off the clock. I quit and nothing any of you say will change my mind on that!"

"Buffy come on, you're being unreasonable here! We were just trying to help! What would Dawn want..." 

"Don't! Don't you dare even say her name to me! None of you! I just...I can't look at any of you right now. I...I need to get out of here...Spike..."

"Come on love. A nice bike I nicked will get you where you need to go," Spike turned around and walked out the door, leading a fuming Buffy behind him. The others watched helplessly as Spike climbed on the motorcycle and Buffy slipped on behind him. Without looking back, they both roared off in what remained of the night.

"Well that went well," Xander frowned. "And she takes off with him of all people."

"He's the only one she trusts now," Willow began to cry, knowing that she had badly damaged her friendship with Buffy. "We should have known better...we should have just let it be..."

"We only did what we thought was right, Wills. We needed the slayer, we still do, now more than ever. She'll see that herself soon, you'll see. She won't stay mad forever. This time tomorrow night, you two will have kissed and made up and be enjoying some Ben and Jerry's on the couch," Xander tried to comfort Willow, trying to have confidence in his own words.

Willow wished that she could trust Xander's words, but somehow, she found that she didn't. She couldn't. They had messed up big time and it may take more than an apology to get Buffy back.


	5. A Decision Made

Spike pulled up in front of his crypt and hopped off. He didn't know if bringing her here was the right thing, but he know that the slayer needed time away from her mates to really think long and hard on where to go from here. Their idea on how to manipulate Buffy into doing what they wanted...it was borderline evil and he should know since evil was what they so joyfully declared him to be.

Buffy said nothing as she slid off the back of the bike and stumped into the crypt, still too angry to really say anything. What could she say really? No words described how angry and hurt she was. None of them could really understand her. How could she expect them to? They never had some destiny that they never asked for laid at their feet. Even though they lived on the hell mouth, their childhoods had been relatively normal. No one constantly looked to them to save this world. No one ever asked them to sacrifice a lover...or worse...a baby sister. They could not possibly understand. Yet she had thought that regardless of it all, they would at least respect her. Respect her enough to let her make what decisions she could make for herself. To not try to manipulate or twist her into doing what they wanted. Didn't she have enough of that from the universe already?

"Would you like something to drink, love? I know that you don't like blood, so I've been keeping some sprite on hand, just in case you did decide to stop by," Spike entered behind her, talking just to break the silence. Even though he wasn't the object of her anger this time, her angry silence was still unnerving.

"No thank you," Was her silent reply as she sat on the couch that was situated in front of a tv that looked to have seen better days.

Spike just nodded his head and collasped down onto the seat next to her, not saying anything. A part of him was amused. This was more of the same, except instead of being on the stairs of her back porch, they were sitting together in his crypt, just letting her stew for a bit. He wished that he did have some magic words, some way to make all of this better for her. Give her a new world to save, one that never overstepped. New friends that would accept her decisions, no matter how impossible they were. A world that would let her have a choice. A world that would let her have a life.

Annoyed with himself, he shook his head. He was starting to sound like the grand pouf. He rather stake himself than to go down that route.

"I should leave," Buffy sighed, not looking at Spike, yet aiming her comment at him. "I should just leave Sunnydale all together. Maybe then they'd get the message."

"My offer to see the world is still open, if you'd like, pet. You an me, on the open road," He didn't expect her to accept. Once the slayer turned down an offer, she never took it up once offered again, but something told him to offer again. That maybe a trip out of Sunnydale without a specific destination is exactly what the slayer needed and he could give her that.

Buffy was silent for a few more minutes, mulling the offer over in her head. Yes, she had left Sunnydale once. Her retirement didn't take and she had ended up returning, but things were different now. She was older, wiser, and she had a partner in crime in Spike. She needed a break, not from slaying anymore, but from her friends. She still loved them dearly, but they didn't get her and they

couldn't accept her decisions. So she needed to be away from them so she could make her decisions and see for herself whether or not they were the right ones. She needed a break from being their chosen one, their slayer. She needed time to grieve. She needed time to just be Buffy and the only person she knew who was willing to giver her that was Spike.

"This doesn't mean that I'm in love with you. I want to make that perfectly clear," Buffy got to her feet and paced the floor. She wanted things to be crystal clear. No mixed signals allowed. She may be deciding to take him up on his offer to run away from Sunnydale, but that didn't mean that she was going to give in. She didn't love him...she didn't think that she could love anyone, if she was being honest with herself.

"Never said it would, pet. This trip is about you. Has fuck all to do with me and my feelings for you."

Buffy sighed, making up her mind. It was time to do what she should have done the moment Dawn had jumped from that tower. It was time to stop pretending that things could go back to the way they were. They could never go there again. Those innocent times, when she thought that there was still something to fight for were gone. All she had left was this sense of hopelessness and no one even cared to see how far she was sinking.

"I need to tie up some loose ends. Meet me here tomorrow night," Buffy replied, her tone booking no argument. She rather leave now, but something wouldn't let her take off without word again. There was only one person she wanted to tell her plans to, that she thought deserved to know and hadn't been in on the plans to manipulate her by bringing Dawn back. The only person she thought of as family now, since he had taken the place of her own absentee father.

"I suppose I have a few arrangements to take care of myself," Spike snorted. "Sundown tomorrow. Here at my crypt. Good enough for you, slayer?"

Buffy just nodded before walking out the door, wanting to walk home alone and clear her head before visiting her watcher. She didn't know if he would understand. Heck, she didn't understand herself. She just felt that she needed to be away from the others for a while and she needed to leave Sunnydale to do so...even if it was with Spike.

…..

Giles stood in his living room, nursing a glass of Scottish whiskey with a book in his hand. It was late at night and usually he'd be sound asleep, especially after the events of a night like the one that had just passed. But sleep seemed to evade him. He couldn't help but worry about Buffy. She had been hurt and angry over what the other had tried to do and rightfully so. He hadn't been there when they made the confession. He couldn't bear to see the betrayal on her face. He was a coward that way. But he knew that he would have to face it and soon.

He sighed at the knock on the door. He knew who it was, there was no one else it could be. He may have been too much of a coward to face her betrayal in the moment it happened, but now there was no choice. It was time to face it now.

He reluctantly walked to the door and opened it to Buffy. She looked almost the same since the last time he had seen her. She was still wearing the same clothes. Had the same hairstyle. Even had the

same affection for him in her eyes. But there was something new in that gaze. There was grief, betrayal, and a resolute determination that he had never seen before and made his stomach sink. This was no social visit. She wasn't here for his comfort either. She was here to tell him her plans and the look on her face said that she was not going to be moved to change her her mind.

"Buffy?" Giles blinked his eyes as he opened the door and moved tot he side. "Please. Come in."

Buffy did as requested, stepping into the room and then turning to face her watcher. She was hoping to make this short. She didn't want to waste time with niceties and have him try to change her mind. She was only telling him, because she felt that of everyone, he deserved to know. She didn't want him looking for her and she didn't want him to worry. She didn't want this to be like the last time she had left.

"Giles...I have something to tell you. I don't want you to try to talk me out of it either. It's something that I need to do and I'm done listening to people try to tell me how to feel or what to do on their timetable."

Giles took off his eye glasses and began his habit of rubbing the glass with a cloth. "Buffy...I understand that you are quite angry with the others. I was as well...and..."

"I'm leaving Giles."

Giles blinked, taken aback by this. Sure, he had suspected that she would be angry and would inform him that from here on out, they were on their own where slaying was concerned, but he hadn't expected her to inform him that she was going to leave town all together.

"Pardon me?"

"I'm leaving Sunnydale tomorrow night. I think it's for the best since there's a problem with respecting my wishes amongst my nearest and dearest," Buffy continued, her voice void of emotion, but her eyes sparking with determination. She had obviously thought this over and her mind was set. "And no. I'm not going to LA. I don't know where I'll be going but it won't be anywhere near here. And no, I don't know when or even if I'll come back."

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache building. This was much worse than her quitting slaying for a few months. This was...much much worse. They were sitting on top of a hell mouth for goodness sake! What were they supposed to do? "Buffy, have you thought this through? You'd be leaving the town defenseless. After what happened tonight...and there being no more bot..."

"I can't worry about that anymore, Giles. Look, I asked for time and all I get is nagging and manipulation. I lost my sister, I am grieving. But all my friends care about is whether there's a slayer to watch over them as they go about their lives. I can't do it anymore, not this time. So I'm leaving. I'm only telling you because...you're the closest thing to family that I have and I don't want you to worry. I don't want you sitting here waiting for me to come back. Do you get what I'm saying?"

"What of the others? They do care about you, my dear girl. I know that they've messed up. They tried to manipulate you into doing what they want, but...they are your friends. They do care about you."

Buffy sighed, feeling like a bad friend. Giles was right. Her friends did care about her. But they were also blinded by their own lives, their own freedom. They had no idea what it was like to be her, to have

everything stripped away. To keep losing and losing and losing. They couldn't know. "They don't understand. They'll never understand. Ever since I came to Sunnydale, I've been doing what's right for them. Every fight, every victory...it's been for them. But I can't do it anymore. It's time for me to drop the mantle and do something for myself for once. And that's what I'm doing. They'll be fine. Willow and Tara are powerful wiccas and Xander...he can hold his own as well. They don't need me. If they're so worried about the hell mouth, they can move...or guard it themselves. I'm taking off starting now."

"And there's nothing that I can say to change your mind?"

Buffy shook her head. She wasn't even going to entertain the thought of letting him attempt such a feat. She had to stand her ground on this. Be unmovable. She couldn't give an inch or she could kiss her trip goodbye.

"Are you going to tell the others?"

"I'm not planning on it," Buffy shrugged, still feeling too angry to even think about talking to her friends. "I'm too angry with them right now."

"I wish you would," Giles sighed, sliding his glasses back onto his nose.

"You can tell them the day after tomorrow. When I'm gone. I know it's a lot that I'm laying at your feet...but...I just can't see them right now Giles. It's bad enough that Willow's at the house..."

"Are you going alone?" Giles asked, getting a sinking feeling that he knew the answer to that.

"Spike's coming with."

"Buffy..."

"Look, I know that you don't like nor trust him...but I do. He was the only one that wasn't all 'kill Dawn' and he never pushed me to get over my grief. He was the only one I could really talk to out of all of you. I need that. I need him."

"But he's a vampire Buffy...an unsouled one an that. Not to mention he's killed two slayers..."

"And he hasn't killed me. Despite how hard he's tried. I trust him, Giles. That's all that matters."

"He thinks that he's in love with you..."

"And I have made it clear that it's never going to happen. He gets it."

Giles sighed, wishing once again that there was something he could say or do to change his slayer's mind. But he knew there wasn't. Buffy was in the midst of issues that she had to work out on her own, on her own time table. It did not matter that there was a hell mouth to be guarded, or friends that needed her leadership. Or a world to save...a world that had called for the sacrifice of the one person that she loved most of all, even more than Angel. It was a world that he could not bring himself to ask her to guard once again. Buffy had her own road to follow, and if that road led her away from Sunnydale, he had no choice but to allow her to follow it.

"I don't like this."

"I know."

"And I don't trust him."

"I know that, too," Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, weathering her watcher's blatant disapproval.

"Just promise me that you'll be careful. That you'll call me if you need anything and please keep in touch. I went out of my head with worry that summer you went to LA."

Buffy's smile was small and gentle. "I promise. I'll keep in touch...with you. And I'll be careful."

"If he should touch a hair on you head," Giles continued, unable to stop himself. The father in him was raging, wanting him to stop her, even if it meant tying her to a chair. But he knew that he couldn't. Like all fathers, there was a time to let go and his time had arrived.

Buffy just laughed and hugged him, careful not to hug him too tightly. "I'm going to miss you most of all."

He wrapped his arms around her, pressing chin against her head. He loved this girl as if she was his own and it broke his heart to let her go like this. "Stay safe, my dear girl."

"I will. I promise."

When Buffy left his flat, she felt the tears in her eyes. Saying good-bye to Giles had been hard, but she had to do it, face to face. It had felt good to be held, to be told to stay safe, to hear the fatherly devotion in his voice. She hated leaving him, but she knew deep down that it was the right thing to do. She couldn't stay and she wasn't going to have him wait for her to return. Now to take care of one last loose end and she'll be ready to go...


	6. Leaving Sunnydale

**(A/N: The daylight rings come from The Vampire Diaries. I figured that it'd be more fun for Spike if he could be in the world like the Salvatore brothers. lol Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon:)**

Buffy had only been seen once that day, and that had been by Willow. When she had woke up, she had peaked into Buffy's room to find the slayer sound asleep. Everything about the sleeping blond was relaxed and worry-free. There was no sign of the anger that she had shown the night before, giving Willow some hope that everything would be alright and forgiven. That things could go on as before. Her and Tara left that morning for classes, unaware of the change that was about to take place.

Buffy felt a mixture of guilt and relief when she woke up to find both Willow and Tara gone. She was happy that she wouldn't have to face them and pretend that everything was happy again, or discuss exactly why she was so angry. She didn't have to see their faces when she explained that she was leaving and why. Yet, she felt guilt for taking off without saying a word to any of them. Six years of friendship and this was what it had all come down to. Her sneaking off in the cover of night to avoid talking to her friends, only leaving a note. But it had to be done. There was no other way. If she confronted them and told them her plans, they would do all they could to make her feel guilty so she'd stay and she wasn't going to have it. Not this time.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Buffy got out of bed and dressed in a white t-shirt, a worn pair of blue jeans and a gray hoodie over the t-shirt. She slipped on her shoes and began to pack some clothes for the trip. She went to her closet and pulled out her weapons chest where she also packed into her duffel a handful of stakes and some holy water. There was no telling what she'll run into on the road and will need a weapon.

She took one last glance around her room. This room had seen so much. Her fear of dying when she had to go face the master, the heartbreak of Angel losing his soul, the heartbreak of Angel leaving, finding out that Dawn wasn't real, her mother's sickness...it had seen all of it and now it was seeing her leave for she didn't know how long.

Silently, she slipped out of her room and downstairs to her mother's desk. She took out a pen and paper and sat down to write a long letter to her friends. She was only going to write one, knowing that they would share it. Once she was finished, she folded the letter and placed it in an envelope and wrote Willow and Xander's name across the front and placed it into the mailbox, where she knew Willow would get it when she retrieved the mail.

Buffy took one last look around the house, saying goodbye. Committing everything to memory. This was the house where her mother and Dawn had existed. This was the house that Buffy herself had once called home. Now it was just four walls and a roof. It held memories, but not even those could hold her here any longer.

"Good-bye house," Buffy looked around one last time before walking out the door, her duffel bag slung over her shoulder.

…..

Willow whistled happily to herself as she returned to Revello Drive, her mind on what to cook for dinner that evening. She wanted to make something good. Something to celebrate the fact that they were still alive after the nightmare that was the night before. Sure, they had made Buffy mad at them, but surely she was over it by now. Maybe she could make Buffy's favorite tonight. A way to smooth

things over between them. Buffy always enjoyed her cooking and baking had always been Willow's road to forgiveness. Why should now be any different?

Willow smiled to herself, happy with her plan as she retrieved the mail from the mailbox. She whistled a happy tune as she walked up the front steps, shifting through the mail, looking for bills and anything of importance. Her happy tune was cut short when she ran across the letter with her and Xander's name scowled across the front in Buffy's handwriting. Why would Buffy leave her and Xander a letter in the mailbox? Couldn't she talk to them in person? She didn't get a good vibe from this. Not opening the letter, she unlocked the front door and stepped inside. Her frown deepened when she felt how empty the house seemed. Which was strange. Sure, Tara was in class, but Buffy should be here. She was always home at this time.

"Buffy?" She called, hoping that maybe the slayer was upstairs catching up on some extra z's. Last nights activities must have been exhausting, with her not keeping up with the slaying. She walked upstairs to Buffy's room and gasped. Most of Buffy's clothes and weapons were gone!

She raced downstairs and into the kitchen, opening the backdoor, knowing that her friend wouldn't be there, but hoping nonetheless. "Buffy!"

Of course, there was no answer. Her hands shaking, she picked up the phone and dialed Xander's number, knowing without looking at the letter that this was serious. He picked up on the third ring, his voice cheerful and clueless.

"Harris residence, home of the...," Xander began just to get interrupted.

"Xander, come over here. This is serious. It's Buffy," was all Willow said before hanging up. She walked into the living room, Buffy's unopened letter still in her hand. She sat on the couch and stared at the envelope, wondering what the paper inside had to say, wondering if it'd explain Buffy's absence. Just how angry was Buffy anyway? How foolish was it of her to believe that Buffy would be so quick to forgiveness? Especially when it came to Dawn?

Five minutes later, Xander was at the door knocking. Willow forced herself to get to her feet and open it. He wasn't alone, Anya was with him, urging him to tell some big news. Hopefully whatever it was could wait. She hadn't read Buffy's letter yet, but she had a feeling that it was a lot bigger than whatever Anya had to say.

"Not now, An," Xander hushed her as he gave Willow his brightest smile. "So Willow, what's with the bat signal? Where's Buff?" He looked around as he stepped into the house.

"I don't know where Buffy is. I haven't seen her since this morning when I looked in on her. She was asleep. When I came home, I found this in the mailbox," She handed Xander the envelope and looked at him worriedly.

"Buffy's handwriting," He frowned "And it's to both of us..."

"Why would she do that Xander? Write to both of us and leave it in the mailbox? Have you heard from her at all today?"

"No. I thought it best to give her a few days to cool off. And you haven't seen her since this morning?"

Willow shook her head no. "I haven't read the letter yet...but I don't have a good feeling about this. It's almost like the time she took off after killing Angel.."

"Well we won't know anything until we read what she has to say," Xander opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. "Maybe it's not as bad as we think."

Willow nervously twisted her hands as Xander unfolded the letter and read aloud what Buffy had written...

_Dear Willow and Xander,_

_By time you read this letter, you would have probably guessed that something is not right. That's because it's not. Right now, I am too angry with the both of you to even look at you right now. So I am going to say what I have to say in this letter and for once since we've become friends, you are going to listen._

_Let me just say that I am hurt. Hurt that my two best friends, people I knew from the moment I came to Sunnydale, people that I've put my life on the line for hundreds of times have no respect for me. People that I thought loved me like I loved them thought it appropriate to manipulate me by pulling my poor sister Dawn out of heaven. How could you? How could you even plan to do such a thing then claim to care about me and Dawn? Simple. You don't. You probably never did. Dawn wasn't real to you. She was never a part of your blood like she was mine. You guys didn't have a deep connection to her like I did. I needed time to regroup. Time reevaluate without people nagging me about slaying. I needed a break and obviously, your failed plan to bring back my sister shows that you never planned to let me have that break. _

_So, since I am still grieving and no longer trust you to give me the time I need, I've decided to just leave Sunnydale for a while. Travel the country, maybe even the world. See why this place is so worth saving according to Giles. This letter is my good-bye. I don't want apologies. I don't want pleas to change my mind. I just need to do what I need to do to get over my grief and that means no slaying for a while. _

_You may feel that I'm being selfish or foolhardy or don't care about your safety. The thing is, I do care. I care too much. I won't take the time I need to heal. I'll go back to slaying and not even know that I'm operating on a death wish. So I'm doing what's right for me for once. I'm taking off. I don't know when or if I'll be back. If things blow up in Sunnydale, call Angel. I am positive that he will help. Or better yet, just move off of the hellmouth altogether. There's no great prophecy that says it's your destiny to stay here. You two can have lives. The universe did not saddle you down with a sacred duty. _

_Don't bother alarming Giles. I've already discussed this with him and don't go kicking the door into Spike's crypt. He won't be there either. I'm taking him with me. _

_Don't hate me for this. It's just something that I need to do for myself...away from you guys. I know that sounds harsh...but that's the truth of the situation._

_I know that someday, I won't be angry with you anymore. I'll be ready to forgive. I'll come back then _

_and then we'll see where I stand where slaying is concerned. But right now I need to be away from it and I need you to accept my decision. _

_This is good bye for now. Take care. _

_Buffy_

Xander and Willow looked at each other in dismay. Neither had expected for Buffy to do this. Sure, they knew that she was angry with them, but to pick up and leave town...and with Spike of all creatures...it just seemed over the top.

"Holy cow, batman!" Xander gasped, horrified by what he had just read. "She just up and abandoned us."

"She did what she had to do for her, Xander," Willow sighed, this time understanding her friend's needs. "She needs time to heal and we weren't letting her do that."

"But..."

"There's no buts about it. Buffy needs to be away from us right now. I think that it's about time that we've respected her wishes."

Anya frowned, watching Xander and Willow pout over Buffy's leaving. They were being ridiculous in her opinion. They were acting like Buffy had died when what all she did was take a small vacation. Maybe a happy announcement will cheer them up.

"In happy news, Xander and I are getting married!" She happily announced.

"Anya!" Xander exclaimed.

"What? When did that happen?" Willow blinked her surprise.

Xander just blushed, not knowing how to answer that. Right now he was still reeling that one of his best friends had flown the coop, leaving him behind to deal with the fall out once again.

…..

Spike returned to his crypt to find Buffy leaning against the door, her duffel bag slung over her shoulder. She was ready to hit the road and the look on her face said that she had been waiting longer than she was expecting to.

"So you finally showed up," She eyed him curiously. "Where were you? I was expecting you to be here catching up on the last of Passions."

"Just taking care of a few necessities, slayer. Like exchanging my new bike for a new sit of four wheels. Thought it'd be more comfortable for the lady. Not to mention, went to see a witch about a daylight ring," Spike shrugged, entering his crypt. He wanted to pack up the few items that he owned, plus the rest of the blood supply that he had purchased from the local butcher.

"The what-light rings?" Buffy frowned, not sure that she liked the sound of whatever they were.

"Daylight rings," Spike fidgeted, rubbing the back of his neck. He had misgivings about explaining the rings to the slayer. She wasn't going to like the sound of them, but what choice did he have? He wanted to show the girl the world, and he couldn't properly do that using vampire hours. Hopefully she won't freak out over them. They were no big deal anyway, since there were restrictions on who actually were allowed to have possession of a daylight ring.

Buffy frowned. Spike was right. She didn't like the sound of them. "Explain."

"They're rings that are spelled by a powerful witch. They allow a vampire to move around in the daytime. But not just any vampire is allowed to have one. They have to be a master vampire, meaning that the vampire has to be over 100 years old and have full control of their...urges and they have to have a close personal relationship with a witch and must keep it a secret. That's why you have never heard of these rings and you don't see vampires walking around in the daylight. Fuck, only a handful of us vamps even know that they exist."

"So you're saying that there's a handful of vampires wearing rings that allowed them to roam in the daylight with the rest of us and us none the wiser? All because of some witches?"

"Shh, Slayer. Not so loud. Like I said, it's a secret amongst the master vampires only and only ones in the know at that. You can't just blurt it out for just any fledgling or ambitious vamp to hear."

Buffy just rolled her eyes and sighed, really not liking the idea of a daylight ring. "Please tell me that it's nothing like the gem of amara."

"Of course it's not. This ring only protects me from the sun. Stick a piece of wood in me and I'll still turn all nice and dusty."

"Why doesn't Angel know about these rings? He was always so obsessed the sun..."

"No witch in her right mind will entrust a vampire that will lose his soul once he gets a happy. Angelus is too dangerous of a monster to risk it."

"And you aren't."

"Look, I've done a lot of mayhem in my time...but I was never as bad as Angelus. You know that. I may have drank blood from the source...but I never played with my food. I never...did to anyone what he did to poor Dru...she was a right good girl before that sod got his hands on her," Spike grimaced angrily. "Wouldn't even take care of her once he turned her. That was left to me...not that I minded..."

Buffy felt something in her soften, watching him talk of Drusilla. The anger in his eyes that he had on the human Drusilla's behalf. He had loved her...had taken care of her. Probably would have spent his eternity taking care of her if she had allowed it. Just like he was...Buffy shook her head, pushing herself away from where that thought was going. She couldn't go there. She couldn't let herself see Spike like that, because if she did...she'd end up feeling things that she shouldn't...not again...not for another vampire.

"Look. Don't worry about the rings. Like I said, there are qualifications that need to be met and only a strict few meet those qualifications. You have nothing to worry about. Now, just let me gather my things and I'll show you our mode of transportation, pet," Spike climbed down the ladder leading into his bedroom. He quickly stuffed his clothes into a duffel bag. He climbed upstairs and packed up his blood bags and some weapons. He looked around, making sure that he had gotten everything.

"So are we ready?" Buffy asked, impatient to be on the way now. Willow and Xander must have read her note by now and she didn't want them showing up here in search of her. She wanted to be on the road as soon as possible.

"Follow me, love," Spike grinned, leading Buffy towards the back of the cemetery, where he parked a black car that reminded her of the one that he had rode into town in, except there was no blacked out windows or empty bottles of alcohol and empty cigarette packs littering the seats. In fact, the seats looked clean and comfortable. "It's not brand new of course, but it works. It'll get us to where we want to go in relative style."

Buffy inwardly admitted to herself that Spike did good. She had expected something a lot more...dingy looking. A lot more...unsafe. But she would actually had let Dawn ride in this car if she had lived. Buffy winced at the thought of Dawn, but quickly hid it. She just nodded. "This will do. Any idea where we're going to go to first?"

Spike grinned. "San Jose. There's a house there I think we should check out."

"Where's that?" Buffy asked, placing her belongings along side Spike's in the backseat.

"The Winchester House. Heard of it?"

"Isn't that the house some crazy lady built for ghosts?" She slid into the front seat, wondering why Spike would take her to such a place.

The vampire just grinned. "Perfect place for a vampire and slayer to visit, don't you think?"

Buffy just rolled her eyes. She really didn't care where they went. Just as long as it was nowhere near Sunnydale, or LA for that matter. "Just as long as it's not here."


	7. San Jose California part 1

**_(A/N: Thank you for the favs, follows, and reviews:) Just wanted to say that this is not a crossover with the vampire diaries despite the appearance of the daylight rings, it's just Buffy. No other characters from VD will be making an appearance. Here's chapter 7:) I hope that you enjoy)_**

Buffy jolted awake as the car swung into the parking lot of the motel that Spike had chosen for them to stay in. She looked at the building that looked to have seen better days. It was a square building with peeling blue paint, surrounded by brown grass and dying plants. It just screamed inexpensive, which suited Buffy just fine. Their finances was indeed limited at the moment. Besides, it wasn't like they were planning to be here for long anyway. Just long enough to see this house that Spike had been talking about since they had left Sunnydale.

"So this is where we'll be staying?" She asked, eyeing the vampire next to her.

"It's not much, but it's cheap. Plus there is microwave in the room to heat up my blood," Spike shrugged. "It's a roof, slayer. We can't afford the Hilton."

"Defensive much," Buffy shrugged, getting out of the car.

Spike didn't say anything as he got out of the car and stomped his way to the building, not bothering to look behind him to make sure that she was following. For some reason, her reaction to the motel had pissed him off. It reminded him again that he would never be good enough for her. When it came to lovers, he was a bargain deal like this motel while vamps like Angel was the fucking Hilton.

Buffy could sense his anger, but she remained quiet. She didn't really get why it was a sore subject for him and didn't care enough to find out. She just wanted to get to a bed and sleep. Crossing her arms over her chest, she followed him into the building and up to the desk with a girl not much older than herself behind it.

"What can I do for you?" The girl asked, loudly chewing on a piece of gum.

"How much is one room with a double bed in it?" Spike asked, ignoring the frown that Buffy sent his way. He knew what she was thinking, but that was the furthest thing from his mind.

"Fifty dollars a night," The girl shrugged, giving Spike a shy smile. Her brown eyes sparking with interest. "You're not from here, are you? Your accent is so cool..."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "He's been here long enough, can we have the room please?" She didn't know why, but the girl's comment on Spike's accent irked her. It's like she had never heard a English accent before.

Spike smirked, guessing what the slayer's problem was and couldn't resist playing on it. He gave the clerk a look that he knew the girls seemed to like and he had used plenty of times to get dinner for himself and Dru. "I'm from across the pond, yeah. Having a bit of a jaunt around your fair country. You wouldn't happen to have any suggestions on what to see around these parts, would you, love?"

"Oh there's a lot to see in San Jose. We even have a song," The girl giggled and sang. "Say do you know the way to San Jose...la la la la la..."

Spike just laughed as if he was charmed by her. "I heard it. Reason why this is my first stop. Perhaps you can show me and my lady friend here the sights."

Buffy spotted the brochures laid out on the desk and picked one up. "I'm sure that these brochures will do nicely. No need to pull the girl away from her job, Spike."

"That would be great. Let me know if you need a guide. I'm off tomorrow I believe," The girl ignored Buffy as she grabbed a key off the wall behind her. "Your room is number 59. We just had it cleaned."

"Thank you, love," Spike pulled out his wallet and gave her the money.

"Enjoy your stay," She called as Spike led the way back to the car, trying not to laugh at the still annoyed Buffy.

"What's wrong, slayer? Why do you have your panties in such a twist? Just some innocent flirting," Spike teased, unable to help himself.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm just tired, in need of a shower and a bed and I don't want to waste time watching you flirt with the locals before getting my shower and my nap."

"Is that all?" Spike laughed, unloading their belongings out of the car.

"Yes. What? You thought I was jealous? Sorry to disappoint," Buffy huffed, shouldering her duffle bag.

"For some reason, I don't believe you."

Buffy opened the door and dumped her bag onto the bed before turning around to glare at the still grinning vampire. Why did he have to do this? Make it so hard? How many times will they have to have the same conversation?

"Spike, in order to be jealous, I would have to be somewhat attracted to you and I'm not."

"I don't believe that either slayer. Your behavior in there proved otherwise," Spike snorted.

"My behavior in there proved that I am on the ex end of exhausted. I told you before we started this trip. I am not in love with you. It is never going to happen."

Spike fished out a blood bag from the cooler and fished out his favorite mug from his own duffel bag, which he had deposited in a chair against the wall. "Who said anything about love? I was just implying that there's an attraction going on. Doesn't have to be love, pet."

"I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. I'm getting the bed right?"

"The English gentleman in me wouldn't have it any other way, pet," Spike poured his blood into his cup and placed it in the microwave. "Get some shut eye in now, because we have a lot of planning to do. Our trip has just gotten started."

Buffy slipped into bed, not bothering to slip out of her clothes. As long as she shared a room with

Spike, she will be sleeping in the clothes she wore that day. She'll just grab that shower in the morning. Sighing, she laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come. While she did so, she thought of why Spike's flirting had made her so angry. It didn't really make any sense. Unlike what he said, she was not attracted to him...ok, that was a lie. Maybe she was a little attracted to him. Willow did not lie when she called Spike a hottie. But that was as far as the attraction went.

"You were rude," Buffy sighed, finally able to come up with the excuse of why Spike's flirting had angered her.

"Excuse me, pet?"

"You were rude. It's rude to flirt with a girl while in the presence of another. Of course I'm going to be annoyed."

Spike couldn't help but laugh. So the slayer had finally come up with a flimsy excuse for her jealousy. Brilliant.

"Slayer, have you gone completely carrot-top? How is it rude of me to flirt when you've made quite clear that all you and I are and will ever be if that, friends?"

Buffy's frown deepened, not knowing how to explain that one away. "It just is. You just don't do it."

"So will it be the same for you if you meet some bloke? Will it be rude of you to flirt as well?"

Buffy sighed. She should never had gone down this road. She should have just let it go. "Look, if you're going to flirt, just do it where I can't see. It's...icky."

"Icky?" Spike just laughed and drank down his warmed blood. "If you say so pet."

Buffy didn't say anything else. She just laid there until sleep finally came. She didn't dare think about why she felt the way she did about Spike's flirting. Doing so would force her to admit that maybe she was beginning to feel something for the chipped vampire. Which was wrong on so many levels with her being the slayer and him not having a soul...even though when she looked into his eyes, she could swear that he did. Those beautiful blue eyes could be even more soulful than Angels...making her forget...then he'd open his mouth, say something gross and remind her of how soulless he was. No, it was best not to think too much of why she was annoyed by Spike's flirting. She had been down the path with a souled vampire, she wasn't willing to go down it with an unsouled one.

…..

Buffy woke up to find Spike slumped in the living room chair opposite the bed, sound asleep. By the looks of it, he couldn't have been too comfortable. Shaking her head, Buffy found that she couldn't tear her eyes away from him. There was something...beautiful about the vampire as he slept. All the tension that filled his body was gone, especially from his face, giving it a relaxed appearance, as if he had no worries in the world at all. There was a kindness there that she didn't even see in Angel's features, and a vulnerability. As if he was easily hurt if not handled with care, which was ridiculous

because this was Spike. William the bloody, slayer of slayers. Enemy number one...except, he hasn't been enemy number one for quite some time now. He's been more of a friend lately. Maybe the only real friend she could count on.

She winced at that last thought. If Spike was her only real friend...what did that make Willow and Xander? Weren't they her friends? They had been through so much together in the last five years alone, even though Xander's judgmental rants cut her to the quick at times and Willow's thoughtlessness with her magics could drive Buffy up the wall, but still...they were her friends, despite their flaws. She just couldn't deal with their flaws now. She needed to be away from them. She could only hope that someday they could understand that.

Tearing her eyes away from Spike, she got up, in need of something to drink. Maybe there was a vending machine in the hall. Sighing, she slipped out of bed and quietly left her room and headed for the motel lobby, her mouth watering for a sprite.

She entered the lobby of the motel to find it empty, but a coke machine right up against he wall. She dug in her pocket for some change and fed it into the machine for a spite. She had just opened the soda and took a sip when she heard a scream come from the room behind the attendant's desk. Slayer instinct sent her rushing into the room to find the girl that had been flirting with Spike cowering against the wall, opposite a floor length mirror. She was sobbing and trembling covering her face with her hands. Buffy frowned and looked in the mirror and gasped to see a blind folded girl with blond hair and wearing a white nightgown in the mirror reaching out towards them. She seemed to be saying something, but whatever it was, Buffy couldn't hear it. Buffy stared at the image until the girl faded away and all that was left was the reflection of the room with Buffy standing in front, guarding the trembling desk attendant.

"What the hell was that?" Buffy whispered to herself. She turned to the desk clerk and knelt down next to her and reached out to gently touch her shoulder, not wanting to startle the girl. "Miss? Miss? What is going on here? The mirror...the girl...do you know who she is?"

The sobbing girl just shook her head, refusing to cover her eyes. "No one...no one...no one..."

The girl was lying. Buffy's senses told her that much. Whoever the girl in the mirror was, the desk clerk knew her, or else she wouldn't be so wigged. But Buffy couldn't force the issue, and she didn't even think she wanted to know. It seemed to be something slay worthy and Buffy the slayer was on vacation and she planned to keep it that way.

She sighed and stood up. "Alright. You don't want to tell me. That's understandable. I'll just go to my room now and hope no strange girls make appearances in my mirror. Goodnight," Buffy turned and left the room, pushing the incident out of her mind, or at least trying to. Whatever was going on in this motel, she was not going to be pulled into it. This was not going to be another LA.

Once back in the room she shared with Spike, she looked into her bag and pulled out a journal. It's been a while since she had kept a diary, but she didn't see the harm in keeping one now. Even Giles kept one as his experience as her watcher.

_Dear Giles,_

Why not pretend she was writing to Giles, sharing with him her travels? Maybe someday she'll even let him read them.

_Dear Giles,_

_Here I am, holed up in a cheap motel room with Spike in the lovely city of San Jose. The city that I now know the way to. Our mission here is to check out the Winchester House. You know, the house built by Sarah Winchester for the ghosts of the people killed by the guns her husband had invented. What do you think Giles? Is it really haunted or just a marketing gimmick? I guess we shall see. _

_There is something strange going on here...something that may be in need of a slayer, but I am determined to remain retired. I don't think that Spike believes I can do it. Oh sure, he's all for me trying, but I can see it on his face. That he believes that the slayer is a part of me, just like his demon is a part of him. We shall see, though. We shall see..._

She closed the book and stuffed it back into her bag. She glanced towards the dresser and noticed the mirror above it. If she looked in it, would that girl appear?

She shook the thought out of her head. She was not going to go there. She was going to get some sleep so she could be ready to tour that house tomorrow.

…..

_Buffy stood in what looked to be a room of mirrors. She looked around for a door, anyway to escape but found none. She frowned, not liking this, especially the lucid feel of the dream. When dreams were like this, where she could actually feel the wooden floor beneath her bare feet, she knew it meant only one thing. She was in midst of a slayer dream._

"_What is this? I'm retired! Whatever this is, you're out of luck! Go bother Faith!" Buffy called out, not expecting an answer. "I am retired!"_

_Of course there was no answer. Buffy sighed and rubbed her shoulders, feeling annoyed, anxious, yet curious, despite herself. What were the powers to be trying to tell her. She turned to the right and stared into the mirror and gasped at what she saw. It was her, but she was blindfolded, her arms reaching out for help and her lips moving, but no words were coming out. She backed up into the mirror behind her and whirled around to see the same thing, except this time, words were coming out of her mouth, but it was someone else's voice. _

"_Help me. Help me," The voice begged_

Buffy bolted up out of bed, a scream just at her lips. She looked around the room and saw only Spike, who was just coming awake himself.

"What in the hell was that," Buffy gasped, struggling to get her bearings back.

"Slayer?" Spike frowned, noticing the tension coming off her in waves. "Something wrong?"

"Slayer dream," Buffy moaned, covering her face with her hands. "I forgot that I get those once in a

while..."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Spike asked, curious. He had heard that slayers had dreams that could rival Drusilla's visions. He had always been curious about just what those dreams were and how much help were they to the slayer.

"No. Not really. I don't want to give it validity," Buffy looked away, annoyed that even her dreams were against her taking time off from slaying.

"It may help, slayer. Maybe it wasn't a slayer dream, like you say. Maybe it was..."

"Oh it was a slayer dream. After I saw out in the lobby earlier, there's no way that it couldn't be a slayer dream..."

She saw something? Well that was new. "Alright, slayer. Spill. What did you see?"

Buffy sighed and shrugged. "Something scary. But it's none of our business, Spike. We're here to see that house, right? Well let's see it..."

"Hold up Slayer. What do you mean something scary? If something scary is going on in this motel, I think we need to know about it, yeah?" Spike refused to let Buffy power her way through the subject and onto another one.

Buffy rolled her eyes and sighed. "Well...it was strange. I was thirsty, so I went to get a sprite out of the machine. That was when I heard a scream from that room behind the desk. The door was open and I saw the clerk trembling, covering her face as she stood in front of some floor length mirror. Curious, I went to see what had her all wigged and saw this girl in the mirror. She was blond and blindfolded and was reaching out towards us, as if asking for help...then she just disappeared."

"Bloody hell...what did the lass say after that? Did she explain what had happened?"

"I asked her who the girl in the mirror was and she said no one. But she was sobbing and trembling...well it didn't seem like no one to me. The girl was obviously lying."

"Did you ask anymore questions?"

"No. The girl obviously didn't want to tell me and since I'm not slaying anymore, I didn't see the point on trying to get anything else out of her. I've retired, remember. No more slayage for me."

Spike sighed. He didn't want to push the slayer on this. After all, that was what she had left behind by taking this jaunt with him. She wanted room to be her, but it seemed like his earlier doubts about whether she was going to be able to quit or not was being answered. If she was having slayer dreams...and they didn't stop...well the powers may be forcing her hand. She may not be able to quit...at least not in the way that she had hoped. "What of the slayer dream, pet. What was that about?"

"It was just me in a room full of mirrors...my reflection...it was like the girl in the mirror. I was blindfolded, reaching out for someone, I was saying something, but I couldn't hear what I was

saying...so I backed up into the mirror behind me, and it was the same reflection...accept this time I was talking and I could hear the voice...but it wasn't mine..."

"What did the voice say?"

Buffy sighed, shuddering at the memory. "Help me."

Spike got to his feet and went over to the cooler that held his blood. He opened it and took out a blood bag. "Sounds like someone is in need of a hero."

"Well the hero sure in the hell is not me. I'm retired and I'm determined to stay that way," Buffy grumbled, watching as Spike bit open the plastic and poured the contents into a cup he had packed himself.

"Even when some lass is in need of help?"

"I thought you were all for me quitting," Buffy frowned, not liking where this conversation was going. She wasn't expecting Spike to be not on her side. She thought he'd encourage her new found freedom.

"Love, I'm not sure if it's even possible, but I am all for you giving it a go and not standing in your way. The thing is, you have to ask yourself, are you even able to stay in retirement when there's someone in need of help? Or are you willing to come out of retirement to help someone in need of a hero? It's just a question."

Buffy stared at Spike, wondering if he was indeed as soulless as he was supposed to be. "Why would you care if I did choose to ignore some helpless person in need of a hero?"

Spike just did one of his famous smirks before placing his mug in the microwave that came with the room. "I don't. Just curious."

"Well...I have to admit that I am curious...but she's made it clear that she doesn't want the help so why should I push? I'm not. So your answer will have to go unanswered," Buffy got to her feet, just as there was a knock at the door.

"Wonder who that can be?," Spike questioned, taking his mug out of the microwave and taking a gulp.

Buffy just rolled her eyes in answer and opened the door to the desk clerk, her eyes red from crying, her blond hair hanging limply around her face, that was as pale as Spike. "Look, if you still want to know about the girl in the mirror...she's not no one...she's my sister...and we need help..."

Buffy turned her head to look at Spike, who just looked back her, his gaze asking her what she was going to do. Buffy sighed as she turned to face the girl. It clicked what she said about the girl and something inside Buffy crumbled. "Your sister you say?"

The desk aclerk just nodded, wiping a tear from her eye.

Buffy sighed, wondering why the universe was doing this to her. She knew one thing. She couldn't let someone else go through what she was going through now...not if she could help it.

"Come in..."


End file.
